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How can I get my husband to help out more around the house?

He does not want to do anything. I do not work and he think I should do everything. We live in an apartment so there isnt a ton of space to clean and the only thing I ask him to do is take out the trash and he cannot even do that. It is really frustrating. I take it out of the can and sit it next to the door so he can just grab it when he walks out but he wont do it. I let it sit there for a WEEK one time and then ended up taking it out myself. I said something to him every other day.. like hey can you grab that trash when you leave and then he says he forgets... I dont understand how you can miss that. Does he have some kind of block again helping around the house???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Does he drive to work? Try putting the trash in the driver's seat.

    I'd also start leaving some of his stuff undone. When he's had to wear the same set of underwear for a week he might just get the idea.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:54 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Leave him with the wonders of Dr. Ruth:

    "Viagra doesn't work if you didn't take out the trash."

    Sooner or later you're going to get frustrated to the point that it's going to effect all different parts of your relationship, including the sexual part.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • my hubby used to do that i wanted him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper then put them away after they were done....i wash i fold thats it. the kids are able to put dirty clothes in and clean clothes back..if hubby's clothes wernt in the hamper they didnt get washed. and if he didnt put them away they would sit in the clean laundry basket....he has it figured out now

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • My husband does forget!

    I remind him constantly. Not nagging really. If it gets too bad I used to break down and tell him how bad I felt and how I need the help and blah blah blah and he would feel guilty... I haven't had to do then in a long long time....I also inflate his ego after he does something. He likes to hear how much I appreciate him, but I don't over do it or he will think he doesn't have to do it again. lol...

    Its a tough balance.

    At some point, you have to kick his ass and yell if he keeps it up.

    I also agree with the other posters.. They have good ideas.

    Answer by smarshy at 5:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • both of you need to read the book "five love languages". my husband has issues and is a full time sahd while i have gone back to work. his feeling is that i should work outside the home and do 90% of all the house work too. there has been figthing, confrontations, polite conversation, counseling etc. but after reading that book, i now know what he needs to feel loved and have used it. the more i make him feel loved and i ask him do something for me, or leave lists for him to do, the more gets done. nothing worked until then...

    good luck!

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 5:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • As a stay-at-home mom, do you not look at the household chores as your job?

    Answer by beccare2000 at 5:15 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Tell him you think it's attractive and it turns you on! It worked for me. Now, he cuts the grass, takes out the trash and even does dishes and cleans the toilet. Worked for me!!!

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 6:39 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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