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Over bearing MIL

My MIL thinks when I have my baby that she will just "call me and tell me she is coming to get my baby," whenever she wants, because she doesn't want to wait for my husband or I to bring him to her. There is no way she is coming to take my baby! Should I just let her think whatever she wants, and do what I want when he's here, or say something now? She is very argumentative when you tell her something she doesn't like.

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Asked by ashleybgarcia at 6:29 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Smile and tell her that you'll certainly consider her taking the baby as long as you don't have other plans for the day, but that sometimes you may already have plans, so her best bet would be to call first and ask if the baby could visit that day.

    Answer by Bmat at 6:32 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • You could just lock the doors and pretend not to be home or in the shower! But seriously, I find that grandmother's are like that at first. Then when baby gets to be around 2, they are a bit too much trouble to have around all the time. Still maybe you should make a day once a week or so to visit her. I know as a kid, we went to see my grandmother every Sat. for a couple of hours. My sis and I loved it! Everyone got along though! Try to work something out before hand is probably the best way to go.

    Answer by Lesli at 6:35 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • It's totally up to you and I would prolly discss it with my SO before hand becuse it is his mother , but I would simply say to your SO " If you dont I will" and tell him that you want her told that it's your child and that she isn't going to tell you what's going on with him. If she wants to see him she can either sit with him at your house or call before hand and ASK you if it's alright if she takes him some place. Who is she to get mad when you tell her something she doesn't like to hear about your child. Input is always apprieciated but getting angry because you do something a different way isn't . Good Luck!

    Answer by AshleyG. at 6:35 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • when she says that, play it off as though you think its a joke. Smile and say "yah...ok." Then later if she DOES call you can say "I really didn't know you were serious. I am not yet ready to let my baby out of my sight but when I am, you will be the first to know."
    My son didn't spend a day with his Grandma until he was 6 months old. She completely understood that I just wanted to be with him all the time. We visited her together until then.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 6:58 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Tell her she is welcome in your home when ever she wants. But the baby is staying there with you.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:58 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Ask her if she's lactating. Baby needs to be fed, after all. **grin**

    (No., I don't know whether you're planning to breastfeed...but breastfeeding is a marvelous defense against overbearing mothers in law!)

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:05 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I went through this too. Just ignore her because no matter what, she has to do what you say once that kid is born. It's annoying as hell but let it go till you must deal with it.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:07 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Haha. yes, I will be bfing. exclusively. I did get a pump for my dh to help me out at night, but not for regular feedings! Good idea! And thanks ladies for the other advice!

    Answer by ashleybgarcia at 7:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Laugh at her, whenever she says that, and tell her "Omg, MIL, you need to stop joking--you just crack me up!" Or just say "Baby will be staying with ME until I feel that he/she is ready for visits away, which likely won't be anytime soon." And then go back to laughing every time she says that.

    Answer by Cassidhes_Mom at 8:04 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

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