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What do I do about the sutuation?

My daughter is 18 dating a 17 year old and he lives with us because she has a 4 month old baby by him. He totally disrespected me and called me horrible names. My daughter told me not to make her choose because she would choose him I am sure. I don't want him in my home but she will take the baby and leave too. What di I do? He already won't let his Mom see the baby because he is an a** and I was there when she was born. I will not give him a second chance either because he will do it again. This is not the first time. He even called me the C word. Please help.

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lisarob

Asked by lisarob at 8:48 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • My guess is if he is treating you this way then he is treating your daughter worse. I would kick his ass out. I would take the chance of them moving out, but would guess that won't be able too. Where would they go? He is still underage and not speaking to his parents.
    It is your home and you have to stand up for yourself and show your daughter that she doesn't have to take his shit either.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 8:52 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Kick him out and take the chance he needs to respect you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Agree kick him out adn take the chance your daughter will come home once she realizes that he can not help support her or the baby and she will wise up and leave his ass.
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 8:58 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • OMG go get custody of that poor child. Get custody, call the cops and get that jerk our of your life and the baby's life. Do it before you tell your daughter, because once you get the baby away, they both will probably leave. So, be it. You got the baby and they can hit the road.

    Sometimes you have to be tough.

    I don't understand why you are still waiting around..... GO DO IT NOW>
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster. If he talks to you that way then he talks to your daughter worse. And the baby will grow up think its ok for guys to call her the "c word". Kick him out! Your daughter might be mad but she will thank you later.
    MomAt15woah

    Answer by MomAt15woah at 10:02 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • You don't want your daughter to think it is OK for a man to ever treat her mother like that. Stand up for yourself! If he is mistreating her as well, which he most likely is, maybe seeing you stand up for yourself would give her the courage to stand up for herself. Sadly, as long as there's no abuse/neglect when it comes to the baby, they can/will take the baby with them. I can almost gaurantee that your daughter will move out, but once she realizes the error of her ways, she will come back to you and thank you later.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 10:44 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I would sit them both down and tell them that things are going to change. If they dont like the changes then they will have to leave. If you feel that your grandchild is in danger if she leaves then you know what the next step is. Tell them at this point your main concern is your daughter and your grandchilds safety. Not much you can do about your daughter as she is 18. This is your home. You can either live with a disresptful 17 year old or you dont.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 10:59 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • If he ever called me the C word, I would beat his ass with anything you have in your hand at the time. Your daughter should never let him speak to you in that manner,,,,,Do what you have to do call the police and have him removed for abusing you mentally,,, get a DVO- that is where he cannot come around you or your daughter and baby for 3 years,,, that will teach him....But it won't work if she follows him,, in fact she would then be the one in trouble with the police......I really have to think on this one... but never let him talk to you again like that,,, Have the baseball bat ready and Swing.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Okay. I was kind of in this situation.. Being the daughter. I came on the adult children (18+) b/c I am 19 with two kids. Although I feel like I am 30, I am 19 and thought you would like to hear from a different perspective....

    I was 17 and pregnant and my 22 year old ex was living with us at my moms. He was mentally and psycially abusive to me. My mom only knew about the mental abuse. At the time, I chose him over my mom. She still talked to me but him and I moved out. Within 2 weeks I was calling my mom and telling her how sorry I was. I didn't move back, but you have your health at risk with the stress. I would suggest talking to her by herself but being there, I wouldn't listen to my mom. I would tell him to leave. It may take some time and her growing up, but I'm sure she will find out that it isn't as easy as what it seems and come crawling back. I know it is hard, but you have to do what is best for you and her.
    LiSsY0924

    Answer by LiSsY0924 at 6:03 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I never let him talk to my mom that way though. That is wrong on her part. If you have any questions, PM me b/c I think I might be able to help you.

    I didn't realize what I put my mom through for a while, but she will... It will take time... I hope it works out...
    LiSsY0924

    Answer by LiSsY0924 at 6:04 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

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