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how do you convince a 3y/o its in their best intrest to listen/ follow directions?

I have tried everything from timeouts to spankings and everything in between. at this moment he has NO toys (they are all boxed in my garage) and he spends his day playing make believe. on the days he listens and has a good day he earns them back then when he doesn't listen I take one away. he's back to no toys tonight and doesn't seem to care. does anyone have any other advice? I'm at my wits end. and yes I do understand he is three and will have his issues. that's fine... he doesn't just have issues... he sees my nephew get away with EVERYTHING. he has no discipline. my son is no longer allowed around him unless I'm there.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • Sorry, if I knew the answer I would use it on my 5 year old. Pretty much nothing phases her either.
    TeriMelisa

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 10:26 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Just a thought....you've already taken everything away and it did not help. I tried a different approach when my daughter was 4 and I was losing my mind. I stopped punishing her and laid down a few ground rules that were safety related (no running in front of cars, no hitting, etc). I set up a reward board for behavior that would be rewarded. I did not take any toys away and did not punish her for at least a week. I obviously redirected hitting, but kept a calm voice and repeated the rules. The reward board worked well. Once she was older I gave warnings before taking away a toy/game and gave quarters for appropriate behavior.
    jthor

    Answer by jthor at 11:04 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I've found the reward system works great too.
    My daughter was driving me nuts with her bad behavior every time I picked up the phone. No amount of punishment seemed to make a difference, timeouts, yelling, standing in the corner, no TV - nothing.
    Then I added it to her chore chart - she gets a star if she has "good phone manners" while I'm on the phone. If she earns enough stars for all of her "chores" by Sunday, she gets a dish of ice cream. Now if she starts to act up while I'm on the phone, I just have to remind her to use good phone manners to earn a star and she quiets back down. It's worked so well over the last month that I added "good table manners" yesterday and have seen a HUGE improvement already.
    There's an old saying, "you catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar". I'm finding it's true - rewards can be far more powerful than punishments.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:37 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I have a three and half year old girl and we have done everything also. We can't get anything to work. I am so glad to see that I am not a bad parent because my child refuses to listen to me. The only thing I haven't tried that is listed out here is the money reward. other than that we have tried it all and then some. Her newest thing is fighting with me when I do put her in time out or stand her in the corner. It is so frustrating. I think I will try some of these ideas also.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

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