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PLEASE HELP ME IM LOSING IT!!!!!!!!

I feel horrible for even feeling like this but i feel like just giving up!!!!!!! I LOVE MY KIDS they are amazing. Here lately i have personally been struggling with myself and things in my life. Ive found myself fond myself feeling bothered by them. I feel like a falure of a mother and honestly am crying while i write this. Im afraid beause of my own problems it may affect my children in the future. I dont want them having bad memories of me. Its like thoughout the day im steady on their butts getting on them, but their are nights after they have went to bed i go ustairs and look at them and think to myself, if anything we're to EVER happen to them i would go crazy to hear their voice to have one of them just BOTHER me. please someone who has ever found themselfs in a rut help me!!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I get frustrated all the time and I only have one. I just take a few deep breaths, scream into a pillow, and then put my happy face on again. Eventually, she'll do something that will crack me up and I will feel better again. I don't think you should beat yourself up about it!
    MommaToSam

    Answer by MommaToSam at 11:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I think it is important to find ways to laugh and be a joyful mother. Can you take them to the library, check out 50 books (I'm not kidding- my kids and I each have a card and *could* bring home up to 150) and sit on the couch with them for hours reading together? Or going swimming? Something that is fun?

    Also with how irritable and angry you sound, maybe look into counseling or get the doctor to check your hormones and see if he can help you find what it going on?
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:25 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Perhaps you need to take a mommy time-out? Have the father/friends/family watch your children while you go out and do something YOU enjoy. Or take a mini-vacation. If those don't help... talk to a doctor. You are not alone! Raising children is stressful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Everyone should have a therapist!! Therapy is not for crazy ppl, ideally everyone needs to work through their problems and having a therapist is a great outlet.

    Pick up a self-help book to help control your emotions. Hope this helps. You're NOT the only mother to feel this way! Talk to your mother maybe she can help you too.
    MasonsMommy1707

    Answer by MasonsMommy1707 at 11:42 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I agree with Anon 39 with the mommy time-out! Sounds like you are just overworked and need a vacation for a night. If you are too stressed, then they will be able to pick up on it. I think every mom feels this way once in a while, and it is important to step back and take a break for a few hours before your feelings start to communicate themselves to your children. Take a deep breath .. you do not sound like a horrible mother to me.. just someone who is stressed and needs a vacation!
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 11:49 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I have lost a child at 16 years old, my only girl,and I do hear her voice at night in my dreams. Take a deep breath and chill, your children are just kids, let them be that way. Rules are good but don't push them on the kids too much, time out is good, but I would never spank my kids , that teaches them to hit others. They learn from you.. If you see a fault change it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Sounds like you need to have some face time with friends. See if you can get hubby to watch your little ones and have some time for you. Everyone get stressed and frustrated sometimes. But trust me they grow up soooo fast and you long to hear their voice asking for anything, or laughing, anything. There will come a time in your life that you will look back and ask, "did I show them enough how much they mean to me?"
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 12:44 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I'd find something structured to do with their time during the day so they are not doing stuff that makes you come unglued and take it out on them. Maybe you could lighten up and not let so much bother you. Do you have family who can help? I yelled a lot at my kids and I regret it now as I hear them yelling at their kids. I feel awful for teaching them that. Children learn what they live. Try watching some meditation tapes or read some books to help relieve some of the tension. Try play time with the kids instead of being the warden over the kid "prisoners". It's a lot of stress. There is a book out there called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff that might help or the book The Last Lecture. maybe those could be of assistance to you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:13 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

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