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Swinging????? TMI

ok so me and my fiance have been together for 4 years now and have been in the swinger life style for about 2 years. I have never been with another man its mostly just me and other women and every now and then me him and another woman. Some friends of our intoduced it to us it started out as fun in the beginning.............but to cut to the case for about the last 6 months i have slowly been losing the fun factor of it all. its to the point when i hear we are going to the swingers bar i get upset. i feel as though we have reached a new point in our relationship and he is the man i plan on being with for the rest of my life and i dont want to share or be shared. Im just afraid because he enjoys it so much i dont know how to tell him IM OVER IT. Its starting to make me feel insecure about myself and almost depressed and nasty!!!!!! What do i do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Very simply, you tell him exactly how you feel. His reaction will tell you the direction the relationship is going to go. Its probably not going to be easy, but you just tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. If he doesn't show any interest in wanting to stop then I would take it as a sign to end the relationship because if he doesn't consider your feelings now, he is probably never going to. I am not judging you for doing it, honestly i'm not because people can do whatever they want in their relationships, but this is exactly why I feel that as tempting as it may be to someone, a relationship should be kept between two people.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:56 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Yes, you have to tell him. But, I have to say, people can never know in advance if this is the direction their hearts will take, after a while. It's just begging for heartache.
    callmeann

    Answer by callmeann at 11:59 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • ******************************ADD ON TO MY QUESTION*********************************
    I see that now then it was something to spice things up........ OK his idea to spice things up and i thought that if i didnt try it he would go somewhere and get what he wants.........STUPID I KNOW!!!!!! I dont know how he will react but i am a mother of 2 small children and also a stay at home mom, im finishing school in the next 6 months and dont have anywhere to go and everything i have is in his name due to my very bad credit im afarid if he doesnt want to stop ill be stuck anyways!!!!!!!!!! I guess i should have stated that as one of my big roblems in my questions/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I got where you are and I told him no more. I thought he'd leave me but nope, he didn't.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:34 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I totally agree with April DJC's answer, but I wanted to add. People change. What may have been ok or right for you at the time changes with you. In a healthy relationship, your partner will respect you being comfortable or he wont. And that should always be your answer right there. Its not whether its right or wrong but whether its right for YOU as an individual and a man who truly loves you will always respect that. As for the other issues, whether you stay together or not, you should retain your independence. Trust me I understand about bad credit, but talk to a debt counselor, that can rally help. Open up accounts in your own name and deposit $5 a month. Dont use it other than that. Not only will it build up your credit but gradually you will have savings. Good luck. Pm me if you need help with resources.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 1:03 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

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