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how do i deal with the in-laws?

my bil told my husband he should leave me cus i left him for 2 weeks cus iam tired of his drinking and things he does. then his bro told him ,well u supported her for 2 years when she didnt have a job. i dare him! i took care of my husband when he didnt work for 3 years!what would u all do and how would u handle that? also, my son,who is my hubbys stepson is gone with his dad and instead of my hubby telling his mom this he lied and said hes with his sister because she ask him what was i goi ng to do keep my son away from her now too cus his bro and his wife dont let mommy see their kids which they feel she could see them if she wanted too that she could drive to there house sometimes but no she exspects them to always go to her house and she does that with me too. how would u handle this? would u put up with ur husband answering to his mom and bro all the time and tellin all ur bussiness?

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Asked by sunshines_angel at 7:49 AM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Uh no!! Not at all. My in-laws sometimes over step their boundaries but my husband tells them to back off, just in a nice way. Tell you husband to knock it off now, or you can start telling some stories of your own.

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 7:57 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • It sounds like you and your husband aren't talking. Try calmly telling your husband how you feel. Lots of I feel ..... when you ...... type statments. Ask him his thoughts, what he would do in your shoes, what he would like you to do? Then see if what he says is somthing you can try to do. (this is proactive and not accusing) If it is completly out there. Camly tell him why it isn't something you could do. Offer what you think is something you both could do. As much as probably both of you are hurt, if you start to yell or give in to his possbile anger no solution can be found. Good luck, it is always harder when it is family.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 7:59 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • If I were in your situation, I would totally ignore what they say. There are some people who can't be happy if they are not stirring up some kind of drama. What goes on at your house is really none of their business, so don't discuss it with them at all. When they say something to you, just look them in the eye and thank them for their opinion. If you want, you can also say that you will think about it. Nothing puts a stop to their kind of behavior any quicker than just a "thank-you." Instead of thinking about them and what they say or do, spend your energies thinking about how you can better love your husband so that he will prefer your company and your opinions over theirs. Drinking is often a means of dulling the senses so one doesn't have to deal with all the junk in one's life. It may be that your reassuring your husband that he is a worthwhile person will turn his heart away from the alcohol and toward you.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:12 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

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