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How can I help my Husband see that he is being insensitive about keeping me away from his family?

My Husband and I nearly divorced 2 months ago. I am very happy that we did not and I am pleased with the progress we have made in our marriage. But during the time while we were going through it he really turned his family against me. There was an incident of infidelity on my part and it was out of revenge for the way I was treated. Not a mature response on my part and I would never do it again. But my husband has a way of making himself look blameless and adding things to the truth to make me look worse and himself look better to his family. So his brother is in town and he met him for dinner. No big deal. He is touring with a C list band that is doing a private concert for a Target. My husband was invited to the show. He does not want to ask if I can go with him. They have also made plans to get together with a girl that is an old friend and of course his brother wants to see our son. All minus me. What do I do?

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Playfulmom

Asked by Playfulmom at 9:24 AM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • I'm sorry but from what I hear I would very mad at him. Don't let him put you down. Hang in there!
    bringin

    Answer by bringin at 9:41 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Tell your husband that you would like to attend. If he still refuses, then the marriage isn't as healed as you hope. He should include you, it would be the right thing to do, and excluding you, from what you describe, is just mean and vengeful. Some counseling for sure is needed if this matter isn't handled well.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Talk to your husband about this....Part of you guys staying together is that you have put the past behind you and he needs to let his family know that you are to be treated with respect as his wife. If he isn't ready to do that then you have a lot more to talk about.....
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 9:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I agree with BJoan your his wife and when ur in a marriage if you invite someone it is acceptable that the other person goes too, its a respect thing!!!
    jaramilloe88

    Answer by jaramilloe88 at 10:56 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • It sounds like your husband hasn't forgiven you for your infidelity and hasn't tried to help his family understand what happened. If they resent you and take his side in this, it will be difficult to get along with his family. I don't know if I would try to see my in-laws if they thought badly of me. Good luck with that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I am dumbfounded as to why people don't protect their marriages from outside factors. Anytime you discuss the details of your relationship with family members they are going to choose sides. It cannot be expected for them to suppress their innate sense of responsibility to protect their off spring. Your husband shouldn't have been discussing your marriage with his family in the first place, no matter how bad it was. The irresponsibility was on his part, and he should have to be responsible for the damage control within in his own family.

    If he acts as nothing is wrong and that your relationship is healthy and sound, his family will follow suit. If he continues to act as if their are problems like not including you in plans, then their perception is going to remain unchanged. You need to have a talk with your husband so you can stop this from continuing.

    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 11:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I think you should call his mother and apologize for all the pain that you caused everybody. I think it would go a long way in repairing damage with his family. I agree with the person above me that stated he should have done damage control with his own family. But he didn't. So that is what I would do.
    proud2Bmomma

    Answer by proud2Bmomma at 1:07 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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