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DH won't touch my belly

Okay I'm now 29 weeks and 4 days. End of pregnancy is rushing towards us and my SO refuses to touch my belly. He hasn't once, and when ever I bring it up he changes the subject. Less than 9 weeks until I'm supposed to having Trevor and I'm a little worried. I mean he JUST decided he wanted to be in the delivery room. And he hasn't been to any appointments, the Birthing Center visits for pre-term labor problems, or even really looked at the ultra sound. Is he just now starting to come around? Does this happen to a precent of guys? Should I be worried or excited?

 
ExenoRainbow

Asked by ExenoRainbow at 9:28 AM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (11)
  • I wouldnt be worried. My husaband never touched my belly when I was pregnant with my first and he didnt go to the dr appt, but to be honest I didnt care I didnt think he had to be there any way. He looked at the ultrasound once and was like ok and that was it but let me tell you he is a GREAT dad. Our dd is 2 1/2 and they are a perfect match, he takes her for rides of the tractor and he will take her to go run errands with him without me asking so I have time to myself, he always kisses her before he leaves for work and just goes out of his way to be a GREAT dad, I'm so proud of him. I am now pregnant with my second and he is the same as he was with my first pregnancy but I know he will love his son just as much when he is born, so dont stress it will be fine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Honestly, I would be worried. Our son was a surprise, but my husband still went to the appointments that he could with me, and he touched my belly frequently. He wasn't crazy about it like some dads are but he would still touch it. He was very protective of it too lol. I would sit him down and make him talk about it. It was never a question whether or not my husband would be in the room. Thats just what husbands (fathers) do. So the fact that he was even questioning that would have me very concerned. Did he not want to be a dad? Hopefully this turns around, and he'll mkae a great dad. But by sounds of it it- you'll be lucky to get him to wash a bottle. He sounds like he wants nothing to do with this baby. Hopefully I'm wrong though!!!!
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 9:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I used to get so mad that my SO wouldn't pay attention to my belly!! I actually think it freaked him out a little bit plus because he couldnt see what was happening he didnt really get it... until DD came out. Dont worry he is a great father!!! Guys just dont understand pregnancy.
    pinkgemini85

    Answer by pinkgemini85 at 9:46 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • My fiance was torn about being in the delivery rm. He has a very weak stomach. I mean, EXTREMELY weak!!! He wanted to, but he was afraid he would pass out lol.
    The belly touching- I'd say he's just a lil freaked out about it. Is this his 1st? Even if it isn't, my fiance would rub my belly then jerk his hand away when she would move. Like some alien was in there or somethin. Lol
    bridgeh2o

    Answer by bridgeh2o at 9:57 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • No he is a good dad. We have a 2 year old. He was the same way with my first son, but that was more of it being the first, and him leaving for basic training. now i just don't know. but he is a good dad..
    ExenoRainbow

    Answer by ExenoRainbow at 9:59 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • It's understandable that some guys are going to be nervous when it comes to pregnancy.. Every one of them handles it differently. For him to just ignore the belly is a little strange. My husband never showed any attention to mine until I started showing the bump, or only when I put his hand on my stomach. No one really knows why guys act like this, it's in they're manly DNA I suppose.
    victoria.mommy

    Answer by victoria.mommy at 10:00 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • with my first son...my hubby was about the belly...this time around he isnt so into it...but then again i am so uncomfortable that i just wanna have this kid and get it over with....so it really doesnt bother me
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Don't get too worried just yet. My husband was that way with my first and he is kind of doing the same thing again- though if I tell him he BETTER touch my belly he does :)
    However- when the baby comes- my dear husband is fantastic! he is an amazing dad and LOVES to do all things with baby. He is just uncomfortable seeing me in that state. For me I am ultra high risk too- so he is just worried about me. BUT he is a great father- just because a guy doesn't get excited during pregnancy does not mean that he isn't going to be a good dad or get excited about baby! Make sure that you talk to HIM about this stuff too! Remember they can't read minds :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I hate to say it, but I would be worried. My now ex DH totally ignored my belly with I was pregnant with DS. He went to maybe 2 doctors appointments. He was there in the delivery room but carried his cell phone & 2 pages & left multiple times to deal with work issues. DS is 6 now & still isn't that close to his dad. Ex DH would help with him but they never developed that close bond. DD is 17 months younger & again, ex DH totally ignored the belly & even skipped the ultrasound appointment. Ex DH bonded better with DD (Daddy's girl & all that) but now that we are divorced, he will go weeks without seeing the kids & he doesn't really care. I think that some guys just aren't wired to be modern fathers. I'm not judging or trying to be hurtful, just sharing what I have experienced. I do hope your situation turns out better than mine did.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 10:56 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • My DH was the same and only went to those things because I didn't give him a choice and he hated the whole time we were there. He also thought touching my belly was creepy. His brother on the other hand can't keep his hands off any pregnant belly he sees LOL! Well my DH is a wonderful SAHD who takes great care of his children so I wouldn't be too worried about it. Some guys just find the whole pregnancy thing a little strange. They don't understand what is going on inside you and find it hard to bond with something that isn't here yet. We have 2 children and he was that way with both of them so I wouldn't worry much. You have enough other stuff to worry about right now.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 11:52 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

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