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Last name question

My friend has three kids by her ex-husband. A few months ago, her ex husband killed himself. Now, her ex husband's mother (the kids' biological grandmother) wants my friend and her kids out of her life-And she wants them to CHANGE THEIR LAST NAME!
She says that she doesn't want them to have the same last name because it was her husband's name first, then hers, then her son...some crap like that.
Yesterday my friend got a letter from a lawyer saying that this lady is going to pay to have their last name legally changed, and this morning she emailed my friend with suggestions on last names!

Does my friend have to do anything? Can she just ignore this nonsense and get on with her life?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Jun. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • If they were legally named that and the MIL does not have POA or gaurdianship over them, then she can't do shit. If she has custody, guardianship or POA over the kids, then she can. If she doesn't have it, I would sue that crackpot lawyer that is helping her.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:42 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Wow! Why is she being that way towards them? I am sure they are hurting over losing him too! What a witch! Sorry~ no advice on my end...I am still in shock that someone would be like that towards their grandkids! wouldn't think they could make them change the last name....

    Answer by nikkileerue at 11:43 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Never heard of these before. She could have their names changed to her maiden name but what does having the same last name have to do with having a relationship with family members. I think the g'ma is just being immature about the whole ordeal. I would just set it aside until the courts come knocking on my door to force to do it but what a hassel that is with changing the social security cards and birth certificates.

    Answer by usmc0351wife at 11:44 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I don't think she would have to do anything. That is the kid's legal name. That woman is a witch for even thinking that.

    Answer by toyota at 11:46 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • The MIL has know legal right to change her grandchildren's Last names..Unless she was there legal guardian..The mother can ignore this..I would call the MIL's lawyer and tell him "No thank you".


    Answer by louise2 at 11:48 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Wow, thats probably one of the most f***ed up thing I have ever heard. I really don't think she would have to do anything. You know it is up to a judge to decide whether or not you can change your name except for the woman in marriage, divorce, or if you adopt a child. He is the legal father of those children therefore they have the right to his last name. If she does have to go to court the judge would probably laugh the old bag out of court.

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 11:49 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • What a horrible person. There is no law or anything on this. The kids can have whatever last name the parents want and if that's what they were named then that's their name. No one can force her to change her last name (if she officially had it changed) or the kids' names. That's just crazy. I know I thought about it when I was separated from my husband that if we got divorced I would just keep his last name until I remarried (if I ever did). Nothing he or anyone could do about that because it's my legal name now.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:50 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • WOW!! What a horrinle person the MIL is. I really don't think they can be forced to change their last names. But I don't know. I would contact an attorney just in case. Also, why would she suggest new last names? If anything she could go back to her madien name and so can the kids. I think the MIL is a little off her rocker and a very cold hearted person. I would definatley stay away from her and keep my kids from her. They have been through enough with their father's death.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • The MIL is probably grieving. She has no legal standing to change the child's last name, so no matter what she does, you're probably just fine if you want to keep the kids' last names.

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:41 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • The mother in law cannot do a thing. She can offer to pay for the name change but cannot make her change the kids last names. If I was your friend I would let the ex mil know the kids are keeping their last name and there is nothing she can do about it. I would let the ex mil know she is disrespecting her sons memory by trying to cut his kids out of her life and wanting their names changed. I would let her know to never call me again or contact me again unless it was to apologize to me and my children. If she called after that I would not pick up and would return to sender anything from her attorney or her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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