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what's wrong with me?

i'm really self conscious about my body. when my husband and i fist met almost 7 years ago, i weighed 130lbs.(only weighed that because i was starving myself, cause my dad always told me i needed to lose weight, controlled everything i ate. so i just stopped eating.) i feel like what i looked like then is what he was attracted to, not how i look now, after being together so long and having a kid and gaining over 70 lbs. most of it was while i was pregnant, but i can't blame it on that anymore cause my kid is 3. i have lost 15lbs recently,but i still feel like i'm so fat and how can he possible be attracted to me looking like this. i can't even watch movies with him anymore cause now a days everything has nudity in it and it just makes me feel like crap seeing it cause i think he probably wishes i looked like the people in the moves that don't have saggy boobs and aren't fat. i just wish i could feel more confident. he says he

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • (continued) likes the way i look, but i don't see how he possibly can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • When I do just even stretch exercises to music when I'm alone with my kids it really picks up my spirits. That and bicycling around town just both make me know how worthy I am in life. Try that to feel better. Feeling better emotionally can lead you to feeling better physically and if you want to, losing weight. It's good that your husband tells you the way you look is good for him. Most men are very verbal when its' the opposite. Take care, listen to music and you'll just find yourself getting up and moving to it!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Well the goal is for you tofeel good about yourself. If you aren't happy with the way you look maybe he will sense that and respond negitvely to it. I personally think love should be unconditional, but who doesn't want their man to be attracted to them?!?! Maybe start doing crunches in the morning and slowly work yourself into a routine, trust me it will make you feel better and feel more confident and sexy, which give you a sense of power and control over your sex life and your looks. Do it for you, not for him.
    mommy2_twins

    Answer by mommy2_twins at 1:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Im in the same boat exept i have had 3 kids and my boobs are saggy and my stomach looks like crap but my hubby says the same thing he loves the way i look. But i wonder how could he i feel like i look like crap. If we were friends im sure we would make great work out partners:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Girl you have serious self-esteem issues and are going to end up with a major eating disorder if you don't figure this out now. Go to a counselor and talk to someone!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 2:04 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • That's awesome your husband tells you he likes the way you look. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We've all felt gross at some point. Whether it's weight, saggy boobs, big butt, untoned arms and legs.. it's always something. Me, it's wrinkles. You need to work on your self-confidence, which isn't easy. It takes time. Only YOU change what you don't like about you. Have you considered a fitness program? It's mind over matter.. start slow. I promise if you add one thing to your routine like a quick walk or run everyday, you WILL feel better and your self confidence will continue to grow.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 2:25 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Listen, this is not really about weight. You have self esteem issues. Honey he can tell you all day long that you look great. You would probably be the same weight you were or even smaller and you would still find fault in your physical appearance. From your original post you need to be seeing a therapist or at least a support group for self esteem issues. This happened to my sister, who has deep rooted self esteem issues. She developed an eating disorder and still has problems accepting her healthy body size today. But she attends group therapy for it and I feel it saved her life. We can sit here and tell you how to exercise your body and eat right but deep down you are the one who has to decide to seek help for your inner strength.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:04 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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