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What are you're thoughts on SAHM's who struggle to stay home???

So I am new to Cafe Mom and have seen so many posts about income and how Women are SAHM's but barely making it. Do you think it's okay for a Mother to stay with their kids but struggle to stay home. I don't think it's fair for the kids to have their parents living pay check to pay check and living off PA. Don't get me worng I think that PA is wonderful if you need it but it shouldn't be a permanent fix. I know that dacare can be expensive but I think a parent should be doing more if they want to stay home.I am a WAHM of 3 and my Husband makes more than enough for me to do my little business which is more of a hobby and stay home and raise our kids. I could never imagine staying home and having nothing. What are your thoughts. I am not trying to be mean, I just think it's selfish in a way.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Jun. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (29)
  • It's ok for a mom to do what's best for her own circumstances. Do what you want to do that's best for your family. You yourself are also your family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • For me, working and putting my children in day care would really hurt us. Daycare for just one of my sons is over $250/week. It costs my SO $40 just to get to work every week. We cannot afford daycare in anyway, I've tried. Now I have 2 boys and so that price would double. I do work from home doing my own business, but it's barely getting off the ground. Sometimes working outside the home just isn't an option due to how much it costs. Also, I have considered a parttime job when my SO gets home, however, he doesn't get home until 630pm and most places close at 10 so that doesn't work either.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 1:42 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Why do you assume a sahm is on PA? That's very ignorant on your part. And about about minding your own life and get a hobby?


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Well I guess you can have an opinion but why does it even matter to you? It is those mother decisions and being poor does not destroy the children. Actually not having everything can be a good lesson for children. My mom raised three children by herself off of factory wages and I have learned a lot from the fact that we couldn't afford a lot some weeks all we had was 40 dollars for food. So to each their own as long as the children are healthy and happy then they should do what they feel is best for their families. My mom could have married my father but she didn't want to he did not make her happy together they would have made enough to give us more but my mom would have been unhappy I like it the way it was. My dad never paid any child support either.

    Answer by Luvmylittlegrl at 1:45 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Wow. Meaning what- meaning that because you have a hobby you sell (and aren't comfortable even sharing your name when you ask this) you are better and less selfish than me who is 100% here for my family and kids, and have nothing else I have to get done? I don't know what PA stands for but I assume some kind of assistance. My husband and I struggle with $ (look at the economy! we aren't the only ones!) but aren't on financial aid/ government assistance.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 1:47 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I've been wondering what a SAHM was and I just figured out I am one lol. No I agree with you I don't think people should take advantage of the system absolutely not. I babysit and I do pretty good with that. I actually make more money that way than ever because I don't have to pay for childcare pretty cool

    Answer by Patty414 at 1:51 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Along with what's already been said, I'd like to add that for those that are on PA, it's REALLY hard to get out off of. Have you ever really looked into all the rules & regulations? That system is so broken... it doens't let people get ahead. The minute they're making enough money to save up to get out of their housing development, they're taking that much money out of their monthly checks.

    I am not on PA, but I know many folks that are. They've struggled for YEARS trying to get out of it, but every time they take a step forward, the "system" takes it right back away from them.

    Once you get into PA, it's a real catch 22 situation for most people.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:53 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I think people should get help only when they need it. Sometimes that's the only way. Patty414

    Answer by Patty414 at 1:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • WOW.. i am a SAHM, i baby sit 2 kids during the school year, but dont know if i will be continuing it this fall. to send both my boys to daycare would be almost $400 a week, plus the cost of gas and extra food for me to work, i dont know of a job around here that starts off at atleast $500 a week, honestly! and getting a job when SO is home is about outta the question, he owns his own business, and works weird hours, some times he only comes home to eat dinner, i wouldnt last very long having to call in to work becuase SO isnt home yet. also im getting soo sick of the PA crap. yes my children are on medicade, because i ahve sever health problems and cant get insurance on myslef, there for i cant get insurance on them, why are other people so judgmental? just because i choose to struggle a little, and not buy my kids every freekin toy or candy they ask for dosent mean they are suffering. they have plenty of love, CONT..

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 2:01 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • and a good safe home. how is that being selfish? i dont want my kids to be spoiuled brats, its good that they know they cant have everything they ask for.

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 2:02 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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