As involved as she wants to be. The best thing for the kids is if both halves of their family can put aside differences and work together to make life nicer. When mom and step-mom work together, the kids thrive. Discipline is fairly consistent, the kids aren't used as weapons to hurt anyone, and they aren't treated like poker chips - the "winner" has them the most, buys them the most, and gets the most "love" from the kids. When mom and step-mom hate each other, the kids lose.
at 2:57 PM on Jun. 23, 2009