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Are you in a violent relationship?

I thought I would share my story from a childs point of view. When I was 6 my mom and dad divorced. She later married a man, who beat her on a daily basis! She had custody at the point when she married him. I remember the first time he beat her to this day....I was 8 and leaving a ball game (i cheerleaded) and they got into a fight....he hit her in the face with the pay phone while she tried to call for help...BUSTED her eye, then chased us down the road with a car! I remember that man telling my baby brothers to go get his shot gun, we were going to watch him shoot our mom, while I kicked in a neighbors door to call the police. I remember hiding in my closet when they fought.....(HE NEVER spent a day in jail) Eventually my dad got custody of us, and We would go WEEKS without hearing from my mother....I would often wonder if she was alive! He drug her down a dirt road by her hair, he busted her eyes to the point, they were....

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • CONT..her yes were buldging from her head. He hit her so many times in the head she is deaf in one ear. He knocked her teeth get the point. After 6 years she got a divorce, it has now been 10 years since she was with him and it still affects my brothers and I. My brothers are 19,20 and I am 23. One brother works his self to DEATH! (HE DOES OKAY) My baby brother has always had behavioral problems, and is quiet violent (not to women) He drinks A LOT, does drugs when he can, Quit high school, and has threatend suicide (BECAUSE of our childhood) I ended up pregnant at 16, and have MAJOR trust issues. Our relationship with our mother is FOREVER tarnished! Do you live with a man who hits you? If so why do you stay? PLEASE GET OUT! Are you planning on leaving?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • My God girl that must have been so horrible for you kids and your mother, I'm just speechless
    I'm sorry you had to go through that hell, I can't imagine how horrible that must of been

    Answer by looovemybabies at 5:13 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Your story is an important one. I am not in an abusive relationship but many women find themselves in one. I hope they read your post. For you and your brothers, I hope you get some counseling, even though it's been a long time. It's the only way to heal these wounds. I hope your Mom is finally okay too. Jeez...

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:13 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I used to be a battered woman. I'm not any more. I took myself and my kids to the shelter and they helped us get a new start and a restraining order. It took me years to fully make the break. It was hard. He used to stalk us when I would try to leave, and he would threaten me and the kids if I didn't come back. I was worried about him hurting the kids... He told me a lot of lies about what would happen if I left him. If the shelter hadn't given me counselling and stood behind me I don't know if I would have ever gotten away from him.

    I'm so glad that I am out and we are safe! I haven't heard from him in 3 years and I hope he never shows up.... if he popped back up I would freak out! I am still scared of him!


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 5:19 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • OH YEAH.... I also got support from an online group. Thankfully they were kind and understanding and encouraged me to seek the help I needed. If I had come to Cafe' Mom, I don't know if I would have had the nerve to make that first phone call to the shelter. Women on this web site are SO mean and judgmental. I worry for the women that get bashed.... battered women don't need to be belittled, they need support and encouragement.


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 5:23 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • OP~ My mom also ended up in a shelter. I just want any moms in this position, to really think about how they are affecting their kids! It is NEVER okay to stay with an abusive man, but I understand why they do! These men BRAIN WASH!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • My sister has no children because the man she is married to does not want any, but he hits her and sleeps around. I wish I could convince her to leave but everything I have tried hasn't worked.

    Answer by violaswamp at 5:44 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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