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Does anyone go to counseling? And does it work?

My boyfriend and I are 24 years apart. We have nothing in common besides our 10 month old baby boy. I love him with all my heart but sometimes it's like what am I here for. We go through spells where one of us gets mad at the other and just stops talking for 2 or 3 days. I got into a really big fight where he said he has been more miersable in the past 2 months then ever before. I said fine and left and now the baby and I are at my parents. I need help!!! My father raised me in a single parent home by choice and I dont want that for my son. Please Help, i feel like I'm ruining my child"s life.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I am in the middle of marriage counseling.

    It can work if you both are willing to try.

    I'm not going to sugar coat it and say that in the first two - six sessions you will be fine on the contrary expect to walk out upset the majority of time it's natural your bringing out the " junk " of the relationship

    I've learned that removing the word NEVER from our vocabulary when referring to " this will never work " or " he or I will never change " your setting your mind in a positive spin.

    Give it a try if you feel that your relationship is worth saving but both have to be willing to make it work. Sure many will say love shouldn't be so difficult it's not the love it's the communication.

    Best of luck hang in there, We've just attended our third session and believe me it's hard tears are shed and you leave there at times upset or revisiting the hurt. We're learning to communicate so the only tears left are those of joy.
    HazyPerception

    Answer by HazyPerception at 11:07 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • counseling can help if you're both willing to be honest and work on things. The counselor act's somewhat like a mediator and help both of you to let and understand where the other one is coming from. They can also give you comunication skills that would help you guys not get to the point of the other one moving out.
    If it doesn't work out, don't worry about ruining your child's life. He'll be happier with 2 parents who both love and support him from different places then 2 parents miserable all the time living together. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Several years ago, I went to counseling. My husband sat in. I gave him the choice as to whether he went of did not go. He chose to go, which made it both more difficult and easier for me. It made it more difficult because he was sitting in the room, hearing every word I said. It made it easier in a way, because I had to be totally honest about what my problems were without talking about what I thought were his problems. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not, but the counseling has to be about you and not about the other person. The only person I can change is me, and that can only happen if I want it to. You can drag him there with you, but unless and until he wants to be different, there are not going to be any changes made in him. Were I in your place, I think I might just stay with your dad, try to give my child a good home, and wait for a man who wants to have a family to come along.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • If you are both willing to go then it should help. My husband and I went about 7 years ago, after our first baby. It helped with little things like scheduling dinner, who cooks, learning to share responsibility, and so on. We both liked her and also discussed things from our childhoods. If he'll go then it is a plus. You can go alone too. Also, having a young 10 month old is great, but it is a stressor on a relationship. You need time and to figure out parenting roles. People say mean things when angry and upset so think about what he said in that context. I hope things work out for your family.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 5:51 PM on Jun. 23, 2009