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Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

If so, if you didn't have any children and someone offered you a place to stay, would you have gone?

What if you were deeply religious and felt as if God would look down on you because you were getting a divorce, but your husband cheats on you, lies and hits you, what could someone say to convince you to leave?

I put this in relationships too and I only got one answer which was a very good one, I guess maybe what I am looking for is something I'm not going to find which is some kind of magic word that will convince someone to leave. Oh well I tried.

 
violaswamp

Asked by violaswamp at 6:35 PM on Jun. 23, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Viola, it's like a drug. You can't help her until she decides that she wants help. I know how you feel. You want to save her but she won't admit that she needs saving. You can't help her until she's ready. The number one thing you can do is just listen to her. If she feels like she is being judged by her family she may be more reluctant to reach out. (I am absolutely NOT saying that you are judging her in anyway, only that it can feel that way when you are in a bad situation but don't want to admit it). She may feel ashamed, she may think she deserves to be treated this way, just be there for her, help her see in little ways that she is worth more, and always leave your door open.

    I hope she gets out soon too.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:09 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • In the bible it says you can divorce your spouse if they are cheating on you and God won't look down on you, not in those words but that's what it says
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 6:40 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • yes, i've been in a abusive relationship
    Yes, I did leave with my children ( to a woman's shelter)
    Think what made me deceide that enough was enough was when the abuse starting towards my children. and my fear of them getting hurt or them trying to step in to stop the abuse towards me.
    But you could tell her it almost always get worse .
    Most woman will put up with it till they are pushed to a point that they are not gona take it anymore, that maybe a Beating that puts them in a hospital.
    Mine was......him shoving my son in a trash can. Also him trying to run over me with me running barefoot down a gravel road. ( this was all over me taking a nap with him asleep in a chair in the living room) just keep in touch with your friend .. she needs them right now.
    Shaqbe4u

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 6:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • You should talk to God and ask his forgiveness if you decide to leave and get a divorce. Never stay in an abusive relationship. I thought I could make mine work but under no circumstance would I have stayed longer than I did. My ex was determined to kill me and my son I was carrying. I left, hid out for awhile, filed for divorce and moved on. It isn't easy but remember this: On average, the victim will go back to the attacker 6-8 times before the victim is finally killed.

    Now, what you need to ask yourself is what type of statistic do you want to be? Living or not? I chose to live. I will always be a statistic of family violence. I can't change that. I can change how I am one. My deciding to leave meant I took away his power and he would not succeed in trying to kill the baby I was carrying. You need to find out for you what is enough. When are you willing to be done with him? Good Luck. He only has power if you allow it.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 6:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Yes, I was very abused by my first husband,I fought back,but that would make him madder, I even got a restraint against him,he torn it up in my face,one day he punched me in my mouth,well his fingers went inside my mouth, I bit down and couldn't let go,until I heard his bone crack. No one should hit you,run as fast as you can,he won't stop as long as you are there.I am now remarried, I am treated as GOD intended me to be treated as a child of GOD ,I am saved,and I know GOD loves me too much for me to stay with someone who cheated and beat on me.Don't you dare let anyone tell you, this is what GOD wanted for you. You pray to GOD and let him lead you,he loves you,also, others can tell you what to do,but, unless they lived it or are in your house they can't tell you anything.Yes, we know that GOD hates devorces,but hates a man cheating and beating on a delicate woman even more.In Ephesians 6,GOD tells a man how to treat his wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Thank you for the bible verse anon 606, but I need to clarify I am not the one being abused my husband is wonderful, it is someone close to me who is being abused.

    It is so sad to watch and I feel utterly helpless, all I can do is say I'm here for you WHENEVER you need me. I guess thats all I can do just wish there was some magic words or magic pixie dust or something that could make her see how truly wonderful she is and how completly awful he is.
    violaswamp

    Answer by violaswamp at 7:36 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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