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what happens if only one of your kids got invited to a birthday but not the other?

One of my twin girls was invited to a birthday but the other one wasnt there having a big fight and they wont even talk to each other about it this has been goingon for about a week now i need help!!!!!!


Asked by Lilysmom1988 at 11:10 PM on Jun. 23, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (27)
  • Well that was crappy of the person throwing the party first of all. I guess you could insist that neither goes unless they both go. Or you could let the one go and have a special mom and daughter day with the other.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 11:11 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Aww, that is terrible i think you should do what Chandra said, but maybe insist that the one who got invited put themselves in her sisters shoes. This could be the start of serious sibling rivalry and you don't want that to happen. Sometimes the parent needs to make the final decision.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I would call the parent who is throwing the party and simply ask if both can come. Let them know that it is causing a problem and see what they say. I agree with Chandra034 though, let the daughter go who was invited, and take your other daughter out and do something she would like.

    Answer by army_wife2000 at 11:15 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Welcome to the wonderful world of siblings! You let the one that was invited go, of course. The other one has to learn that they are not "joined at the hip".

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • If they are both friends with the child then the invited child simply would not go. If the child is only friends with the invited sibling then the other needs to understand that. And yes do something extra special with the one left behind.


    Answer by teamquinn at 11:16 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • Is one daughter the only friend to the birthday child? Seems strange and insensitive but if both twins aren't both friends of the bday child then I'd explain that sometimes one will get invited and one will the next time. Ugh. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • totally high maintenance for young children. I would not even tolerate that nonsense in my home ever. Imagine when they are teens. Thank goodness I have a son...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I would try having a talk with your girls IF you havent done that already. Explain to them that as they get older they will be trying to find their "own" idenity & find out that they have different likes or dislikes. They will also have seperate friends & that it is ok.
    Maybe while the other one goes to the birthday party, You can do something special with the other daughter. Go for a lunch date or catch a movie. Whatever happens..Good luck!

    Answer by onespecialmom at 11:30 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • well my mother taught her kids of 5 where they don't want your brother or sister they don't want you that meant if your brother or sister are not invited you can't go! that's what i tell my kids now and it works no one feels left out

    Answer by wannababynow at 11:34 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • The whole thing about the 'fight...for a week now" Don't play into that garbage. I swear females are the most vicious beings to one another. I would tell the one invited she can not go. Explain to her that it is cruel and childish to not invite her sister. There will be other parties. Frankly, I'm not sure I would encourage or foster in any way further friendship with this other child. Thats just me. Friends like that aren't true friends.
    It would be different if the girl invited was the only one friends with the birthday child. My kids always got invited singularly to birthdays. It's expected and part of life.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:42 PM on Jun. 23, 2009