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How do I convince my husband that it's MY choice?

I told my DH that I wanted to stop BFing at 6 months. That's just when I want to stop...My DD is 2 1/2 months old, I have EBFed since birth and I am going to be spending the next 4 months at home with my mom and family b/c DH deploys on Thursday until November. We were discussing what all DD will be doing by the time he gets back and I brought up eating solids at 6 months and how that's when I wanted to stop BFing. He pretty much threw a fit b/c "his mother BFed all her kids until 12+ months". I told him how exhausting it can be and how I decided that 6 months was a good time to stop(IMO and for ME). How do I convince him it's MY decision and what can I tell him to make him feel better about me wanting to stop then?


Asked by MadisonsMom0408 at 12:25 AM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (24)
  • Answer the question ladies!!!

    I wish you all the luck in the world. And all the hugs. My dd is 4 months and I was not able to breastfeed but would have loved to more than keep all my toes. SO .. if that is when you want to stop then stop but you will have to put baby on a formula as this needs to be the main part of the diet up until 12 months and solids are really just supplementary

    My DH and I had lots of run ins about raising our DD and it got to a point where he was challenging me on EVERYTHING. I believe in attachment parenting and he is ignorant to the many benefits of this. It did not work for me to try to educate him (he thought i was being controlling), or to talk. In the end I just said GET OVER IT! I am a SAHM and she is my responsibility. You are the provider so provide and let me do my job. I don't tell you how to do your job so don't tell me how to do mine. Of course we discuss the important stuff but not .

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 1:37 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Bring him in every single time you breast feed so he sees how hard it can be and how it can really be a pain sometimes. Then tell him it's like an achy feeling after he gets kicked in the balls that you have in your boobs. Let downs suck sometimes! It's your body so no matter how he feels about it, he is just gonna have to accept it. Tell him you aren't his mother so stop comparing you to her.

    Answer by dawn_misayo at 12:30 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • ummm... you can tell him the facts... Breast feeding past the first few months doesn't provide anything else nutrition-wise for the child, in fact, it can potentially lack the iron and vitamins children need depending on your diet. If you don't eat the best and make sure you are taking vitamins you're likely not providing as much good as you thought you were anyways.
    You can explain to him about teething, how just because his mom did something doesn't mean you're required to... etc.

    Answer by momofkearra at 12:31 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • When you debate, fight with someone the words fuel the fire. They're your breasts dd feeds from. About a year is recommended but six months is actually not uncommon once solids are introduced. Just tell with and repeat when attitude of topic comes up, your body your choice, replacement milk will be healthy and replacement foods will be health. Keep repeating it to him or mil and then walk away from discussion. They want you to fight with them to give you a stronger chance of breaking down and going to their side. You are not a bad mother for stopping at six months. it's still a bit away you can still change your mind even a bit after you verbally stop the production itself continues for a bit. Hubby is probably anxious about deployment, seeing how much baby bonds with you is something special for him to know of. Don't argue with him or mil just say firmly replacement milk and food excellent, my body.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • i like the first posters idea. make him sit with youEVERY time you nurse. the whole time. he cant get up, he can only use one hand....he'll beg you to stop then and there! and if not....latch your daughter onto his nipple while he is sleeping and tell him to get used to it because he'll be doing it after 6 months if it is so important to him!! lol

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 12:37 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I think I would just table the argument, in the end your DD may chose for herself. My son decided at 9 mos. old to just one day stop eating baby food. Absolutely refused. He ate it for breakfast, and at lunch he wouldn't touch it. Never did again. Simply backtrack a bit and say "well, maybe that's something we should evaluate then, she might not want to BF by then." Then wean her on your own, either sooner or a bit later than the six month mark to make it not look suspicious. Or have your DR weigh in on the matter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • momofkearra, I don't know where you got that information but it is DEAD wrong. SO very dead wrong. She shouldn't feed her husband a bunch of false information to get him to be ok with it. There isn't a single medical book out there that will back up the information you just said. Try doing a little research :)

    To the OP. It's your body and your choice. If you don't want to do it and you don't really care that your husband wishes you to continue then just tell him bluntly "It's my decision and you're just going to have to be ok with it"

    Answer by SmileyMoo at 12:45 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Tell him to start lactating and breast feed til he feelslike his nipples are about to fall off!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 12:52 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I've GOT to ask... do you have a job? If not... your husband does have some say in whether or not you make a decision that would cost you more than a car payment every month.

    Answer by RanaAurora at 12:56 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Sure it's your choice, but ask yourself if it is it the best choice? Perhaps for you, but not for your child. If you have the milk, why stop and feed her something that is much more expensive and inferior nutritionally?

    Breastfeeding has many benefits beyond six months and into toddlerhood. It isn't about what is convenient for mama, but what is best for child.

    Answer by MommytoNakoa at 1:05 AM on Jun. 24, 2009