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Can i just vent a little?

So DH is in the military, currently in Iraq. We were planning on TTC in July during his R&R. Well, my mom died. So of course our plans changed. I thought we'd wait 6-12 months. But apparently he wants to wait 2-5 years!? I'm a little pissed off. I already researched what i wanted to know about pregancy, labor, deliver ect ect. And i dont have any kids of my own. (for those that dont know, we're adopting my little brother 4yrs and DH has a son 3yrs. i care for both of them). i'm just so thrown off by his sudden change of heart. I mean, i know i'm young. i have plenty of time. i can wait 5 years and still only be 27 when i have my first. ...but i feel like a baby of our own would change the dynamics of our family in a positive way. I know we need to wait a while. I'm still grieving of course, and our family has changed so much already. ...but really. 2-5 YEARS!? ...i feel almost heartbroken.
What do you think, or want to say?

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 2:08 AM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Things CHANGE...don't count on that time period to stand.

    But I would definitely give yourselves a bit of time to effectively integrate your brother into the family, because this is SUCH a difficult time for him. And no one ever realizes just HOW time consuming an infant is...the older kids fall by the wayside in the first few months. You don't want that happening for a bit.

    So two years isn't all that unreasonable....depending on the circumstances, that time period could shrink drastically.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:13 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I think you do need a little more time to grevie. But 2-5 wow! I would say a year tops. Maybe when he gets home you guys can have a heart to heart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I think between the two time frames you're both looking at, you can come to a compromise. There's a happy medium to be found. Just express to him your concerns while letting him know you also respect his. Then, find a middle ground. Good luck.
    NoNonsenseMama

    Answer by NoNonsenseMama at 2:16 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • wait the 6-12 months you were planning on, and talk about it again. you both might have a change of heart after the time has elapsed. maybe he'll be okay with ttc sooner, or maybe you'll wait a few years, or maybe you'll be able to find a compromise. since you won't be trying any time soon, just take your time to grieve and when the time is right, talk about it again. i'm sorry for your loss & i'm praying for your husband's safe return.
    rAbella

    Answer by rAbella at 2:18 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • What's "TTC"?
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:22 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • TTC is trying to conceive.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:24 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok thanks
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:25 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Well at least you are young and your husband says 2-5 years.... 27 is a reasonable age to have a child. I am 33 with two step children. My husband said he would have a child with me and has changed his mind.... I am heartbroken. And just broken. I love my husband, but I am not sure I can recover from this blow.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I feel so bad. But try to talk to him. He sounds like he needs to come to an agreement with a compromise.It is so nice that are you going to take care of the other children. It takes a special person to do that.But have a heart to heart and tell him what you just said to us.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 10:56 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

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