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When do other moms of young kids get their "me" time?

My husband is at work all day and I take care of the baby and preschooler. My baby is almost 8 months old now and I haven't had "me" time in over 8 months now. The only time I get to clean (which I don't accomplish much in one hour) or have one on one time with my older son is when baby is napping. Then when DH gets home he doesn't want me to dump the kids on him right away, he needs time to relax and unwind. I make dinner and DH plays with the kids after dinner while I try to clean again. Then we get the kids to sleep and we go to sleep. The only "me" time I get is a shower and even at that DH almost always tells me to "hurry up" so A) he isn't alone with the kids for too long and B) we can have some "couple" time before falling asleep.
I hear other moms talking about their time to exercise, or get their hair and nails done, or do a hobby, etc. I never get that time, the only way I'm on CM now is because they are asleep.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:52 AM on Jun. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • You and me both! My "me time" only comes when the boys are in bed.

    But you're cutting DH too many breaks. He needs to step up, or go get snipped if he can't handle the responsibility that comes with being a dad. Which includes: Dealing with the kids the instant you come home, assisting with the housework, and letting mom take all the time she wants to shower.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:03 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I get me time when my dd is asleep and only then. My husband is deployed... been almost a year now and everything I do involves my dd. We shower together, cook and clean together, of course play together, and do errands together. While I do only have one and I from what I understand it's easier, I only get me time when she's asleep. Hopefully when hubby gets home it will work out so I get more.
    And I do hope that once your youngest gets a little older you will be able to find more "me" time!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 3:05 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • My husband works late to, he comes home and watches the kids while I go to the grocery store or take a little drive so I can clear my head from the long day. And on weekends he offers to watch the kids while I go have me time, if we have extra money he tells me to go buy something or hangout with my girlfriends or we just usually have family time and go and do something together
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:11 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • boy, i hear ya on this one. Ive raised both my dd and my ds pretty much their whole life. For my daughter's first year of life hubby was in korea and my son's first year of life he was on a 15 month deployment to iraq(actually gave birth to him alone while he was deployed) The only time i get "me time" is when they are in bed pretty much. While he was gone i HAD to do daycare for a few hours or else i would have gone nuts! Im used to this tho, ive prepared myself for his leaving and i understand that a lot of times im going to have to do everything on my own. For you tho, I would suggest getting an occasional babysitter and tell your man to step up and take care of the kids he helped produce! you allow him time when he gets home to be kid free so why the heck can't he allow you time to shower, that sounds selfish imo?!?!?! maybe get up an extra hour early so that hour they are napping you can chill and get me time??
    nevaehsmomma83

    Answer by nevaehsmomma83 at 3:35 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • MY "ME TIME" IS NOW! I DON'T TRUST MY HUSBAND TO B/ALONE W/THEM B/C WE MEANS WELL BUT IT IS CLUMSY AND CLUELESS ABOUT TAKING CARE OF OUR 2 AND 3 Y/O, HE DOES PLAY W/THEM BUT I STILL SUPERVISE AS I CLEAN THE KITCHEN AND OR FOLD CLOTHES. NO , NO :ME TIME" HERE! I LOVE MY KIDS SO VERY MUCH BUT OH YEAH I WANT AND NEED "ME TIME" BIG TIME!!!!!!!!! 30 MINUTES A DAY WOULN'T HURT....BUT IT'S JUST A WISH...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • NEVER. My husband is on over the road truck driver and I'm lucky if I see him for more than a few hours at a time. My son is 16 months old and the longest I have ever been away from him is when I got my root canals done. (2 hours each) Sometimes I wish I could go shopping or get my hair done but it's just not an option for me right now. Maybe when my son gets older. I can only dream....
    ronisaurus

    Answer by ronisaurus at 4:00 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Right now with just my six month old, I have time for myself. He takes two 2 hour naps during the day and goes to bed at 8PM, so I can do school work. Plus my husband has a job where he works 8 days straight and has 6 off and he is sooo helpful. In December we'll be having another newborn on our hands though so I'm sure "me time" will be a thing of the past lol. It's worth it though, don't you think? A lot of the times I wait for my son to wake up from his naps and wish he'd get up sooner because of how happy he is to see me and what a delight he is at this age.
    ours

    Answer by ours at 6:26 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Other than when the kids are asleep, like now, or in the shower then I don't get any regular me time. So I savor the moments that I do get. But if I really needed some time then hubby would take the kids. He's really good with them. You might need to talk to your hubby about it. Maybe he's just nervous being alone with them. Tell him how your feeling.

    Princess02266

    Answer by Princess02266 at 6:50 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • well when my kids were little, I got my me time after work, I worked second shift so staying up until 2 or 3 am was the norm. Of course I paid for that in the morning when my DH went to work because then I was up with the kids at 7. But I got used to the schedule after awhile. Also realize that you don't have to entertain your children all the time. You supervise them, but you don't have to actively play with them constantly. ( I went through that with my son). But yeah, it was quite a few years before I could read anything longer than a magazine article. Though I insisted on lengthy showers alone (DH tends to take long baths, so he never minded). Now I have too much me time, my kids are in school and I am home. Summers are a bit harder.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 9:39 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • For mother's day my DH bought me 10 pilates classes, so every Saturday morning I get an hour, its wonderful (although it kicks my butt!). Also, we are members at the Y, so we all go and they have a childwatch room that the kids LOVE and we go work out. The only me time I used to get was at the grocery store, lol! The kids would stay with DH and I would go alone...but these days my DD4 LOVES to come with me. Also, I'd say about once every 2-3 months I get a dinner out with the girls. Oh, and I get my hair cut and colored every 6 weeks, that's a nice long appointment, I catch up on all the magazines.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 10:12 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

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