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Anyone out there that is married

and never had the head over heals in love feeling with their partner? Everyone talks about that and I never had that.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Never? Not even when you were dating? I have been with DH for over 13 years, we were 16 when we started dating, and I still very often get that feeling about him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I have it all the time. My hubby and I got together when we were both 15, and its been 8 yrs now. He is in the Army so he leaves alot, and when he comes home, its like starting new all over again!

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 11:06 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Feelings are so subjective that they are really hard to talk about. That's one of the big reasons why marriage should be based on so much more than just the feelings. So, if I were you, I would not be too concerned, if that's what you are. I've been married more than 44 years, and I can tell you with no hesitation that, in the long term, character and commitment are way more important than the feelings that we have. Feelings can change in a heartbeat, but character and commitment last for a lifetime.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:08 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • They say that the kind you have lasts longer. The head over heels, butterflies in the stomach, I'll die if he leaves me type of "love" isn't really considers true love anyway but more of infatuation. I believe that some of those can still develop into love though. I don't ever want the head over heels feeling again. It's so fickle! It fades and you see what you thought you had wasn't what it truly was. You only saw it through rose colored glasses.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:17 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I agree with the other answers. I have had that fly by night love sick feeling, and it does not make a real realationship. Commitment and getting along with the other person does. I use to belive the lie that it is better to find your opposite. Not true. I have finally found a man who is like me and and we have like things in common. Now I have the best realationship of my life. Don't be concerned about the feelings if you two love each other and want to be together just go with it.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 11:24 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I had it when we were engaged and married. Over the years it has mellowed into deep regard and respect, and security, happy memories, and yes, sometimes that flutter is still there.

    Congratulations on your 44 years, NannyB. !

    Answer by Bmat at 11:43 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • WOW!! I actually got married 3 weeks ago and I love him so much I still get butterflies when I see him my palms get sweaty when I go pick him up from work and I love him so much. I actually had 5 year and 7 yr relationships and never felt the way I do with my DH its crazy and I love it. He drives me crazy in love never knew this feeling and Im saying its head over heals :D

    Answer by ehall13 at 12:02 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • That infatuation and the crazy feelings that come with it are so transitory and temporary. But for some reason if you still see that person you can still feel it in your heart. I felt that when I first got married and it definitely wears off just like everyone says it would. But if he is there for you he is a keeper. The rest is just romance novel rules and speculation.. But don't let it dictate how you feel with others that will make your heart skip a beat. Just deal and decide for yourself without the drama.

    Answer by bella69147 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • While we were dating and I first fell in love, yes. After over 14 years, that whole head over heels thing kind of turns into a comforting stability with your partner.

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 12:26 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • You've NEVER had it? We definitely had it at first, and then it changed and grew. And now we still get those feelings, but it takes WORK now. Early on in our relationship it was just natural. Now we have to make the effort to make sure we "feel in love" with each other.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 1:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

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