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Did we do the right thing by telling him off?

Some things have to be said--no matter how much you try to keep them bottled up--sooner or later you reach the breaking point. My 24-year old daughter and her perpetual "fiance" moved into the house next door. We helped them get the house not only because financially she is having problems, but because with the new baby we could be there to help out and babysit while SHE works. The issue is HIM. Not only hasn't he held a job for more than a year at a time, but he hasn't worked since like August of last year. They moved back home in December, she had the baby in Jan. and went back to work immediately after her maternity leave. He doesn't do anything--NOTHING. He doesn't do the dishes, or pick up the house, doesn't do the laundry, can't even manage to pick up and throw away his own garbage. Then on top of it all he adds more burden to our daughter by agreeing to have his 5-year old son come live with them. This is long.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (30)
  • The man has never supported this child not one penny in five years--but sees nothing wrong with our daughter working her ass off and providing not only for this child, but for him and a new baby. He has absolutely no ambition and is just L A Z Y! So anyway, my husband has been remodeling the kitchen in this house. The house is nice, but needs some work, so we worked it out with the landlord for them to get it for $400.00 a month--which in this neighborhood is way below what houses rent for. So we have gutted the kitchen which was awful. We bought new cabinets, new flooring, replastered the walls, put in electrical wiring, painted, sanded, new sink, new faucet, plumbi, etc. We bought fairly new appliances. My husband works full-time and HE doesn't do anything. My husband made it clear to the asshole that he wasn't doing everything by himself and that he expected him to help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • So two days ago on his day off, he goes next door to start working. This was almost 11:00. He knocks at the door, no answer. He comes home and I telephone next door, no answer. He goes back tries again, no answer. He comes home and says the phone is ringing, but it is on the fireplace. I keep calling, no answer. This goes on until approximately 1:15 when I call our daughter at work and she says its OK to go through the fence to the back and if necessary the kitchen window is open and husband can get in. So he goes back over and does so. By this time it is 1:30 in the afternoon and guess where asshole is? He is in bed sleeping! Who is watching the baby while his lazy butt is sleeping? So, my husband told him off and packed up all his tools and left. I later went next door and he got smart with me so I proceeded to tell him what a lazy ass, good for nothing leach he is. My daughter is not stupid, what should we do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Wow! He cannot be sleeping when there is a baby to take care of!! I would call CPS but your daughter may not like that. She needs to understand that by him sleeping he is putting their baby in danger! Who knows, the 5 y/o could walk right out the door with the baby. Don't let her learn a lesson the hard need to step in before something really bad happens!

    Answer by Bmanda352 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • You should speak to your daughter. Ask her if there is anything you can do for her. Explain that you know how hard it is for her to work and take care of everything. However, for safety sake maybe she should take the kids to day care until he gets out of bed or maybe you could watch the kids in the morning until he gets up. or you could drop the kids off at day care for her. Your not going to change an adult. However, if you know your grandchildren are in a unsafe situation you can't stay quite..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • We are talking about a 30 year old man who has the level of responsibility of a organism. He takes her to work in the morning at 7:00 a.m., comes home, props a bottle in the baby's face and goes to bed. While the 5-year old is up watching Cartoon Network and raiding the refrigerator for anything edible. Everyday he sleeps until after noon. Now any of us knows that an infant is not sleeping for all those hours. I know because I have watched her. She might sleep for an hour or so and is then up wanting attention. A few days before this incident, we went over to find him sleeping on the floor while the baby was in her swing wide awake without the safety straps attached. She is starting to scoot herself around and she could fall out of the swing. I picked her up to find her soaked through her clothes. Her diaper must have weighed five pounds I swear and she was poopy. I had to give her a bath and change her completely.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Our issue is that he is NOT taking care of the children, and he is not even attempting to help our daughter out around the house. It is the least he could do if he isn't working. But no. Our daughter comes home from work and SHE is supposed to do everything? We are sick and tired of his complaining that HE IS TIRED, HE IS HOT, HE NEEDS A VACATION. He called her a "fucking bitch" the other day because the flooring that he and my husband ended up picking up was not the same flooring that we picked out and paid for because that roll it turned out was damaged and so the place gave them a similar flooring. Of course she wasn't exactly happy that it wasn't what she picked out and she had to rant. I heard what he called her because I was sitting right there when he hung up the phone. He said "nothing makes her happy"! And I responded well I would be disappointed too, but I don't appreciate you calling my daughter a

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • fucking bitch! Then he straight out lied and said he didn't say that. I said you did, I heard exactly what you said. Then he stormed out the back door. I can't tolerate him!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I would jackslap the SOB.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I would like nothing better to than to beat him in his sleep with a frying pan!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I really tried to sit down and talk to him when I went over there, but he has this attitude like there is nothing wrong with him--that it is US. That we don't like him--that in general nobody likes him and he is used to it. Oh Whaaaa! I told him the tiny violins were starting to play because everything is all about HIM---poor me nobody likes me. He actually said that the only reason why were mad is because that day we caught him sleeping at 1:30 p.m. and that we didn't know that he did that on other days because we didn't catch him. Like that makes it OK! Then he has the audacity to complain and say to me that if I care so much about him getting a job, before they moved next door, why didn't I call him and say, hey do you want to look for a job today, come pick me up and I will watch the kids for you! I was just flabergasted! I said, listen bud, it's not my obligation to call you and offer to babysit so you can have

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

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