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Do you put your husband before your children?

My mom does, and she's always used whatever verse that comes from in the Bible (anyone know?) as an excuse to spend more time with whatever boyfriend she had at the time. She divorced my dad when I was 5 and has been married twice since. She's now with a good-for-nothing wifebeater, but she uses that Bible verse against me and my brother.

He physically abused her once, and even though my brother and I told her she needed to leave him, she defiantly said "I put God first, my husband second, and my children third. Sorry."

I don't believe in God.
But I would NEVER put my fiance before my daughter. I just can't do it.


Asked by caitxrawks at 7:23 PM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 17 (3,823 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (41)
  • i pick my children over my SO. i grew up with my mom picking her boyfriend. it was horrbile and i could never do that to my kids, but that dont mean i dont respect my hubby, i love him .but my boys come before any 1

    Answer by aprilsalcro at 7:29 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I always try to treat my kids and my husband with the same respect but I will always put my children first and thats how my husband is too! I mean when they are older I dont think that I will because they can depend on their partner.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Oh yes. My son is first, before me or my husband, I've openly told my husband this, and he feels the same way.

    Answer by MommyMeli07 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I put my relationship with my husband first because I believe that having a successful, happy, healthy relationship with him benefits our children.  For me it has nothing to do with the Bible, just a personal belief.  It has worked well for us for the last three years.


    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:30 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • My kids come before ANYONE else in my life. I am not with their father any longer, but he always knew that he came second to them. The guy I am with now understands that he comes second to them. As they grow, and become more independent, I will still do anything I can for them, but at that point, my husband/so/whatever will begin to take that role of first in my life, b/c my children will have their own wives/so/whatever that they will be putting before me, as they should.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:31 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • A "Godly" or Biblical relationship has to go both ways - the husband is supposed to put the family before himself, and therefore shouldn't expect to come before the children, as HE should put the children before himself, if that makes sense. So, as long as the husband is doing his job, the wife shouldn't have to worry about the possibility of meeting husband's needs/wants harming the children in any way or neglecting them in any way. Its something that's said - putting the husband first - but its something that, in actual practice, doesn't look that way. Its not about the man being waited on, but instead about the man putting the family first and the woman reciprocating and doing for the husband. But she should never have to be in a position to choose, as a "Godly" husband should never put his wife in the situation where she would have to.
    I hope that makes sense....

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 7:32 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Oh hell no! Your mom sounds kind of like my dad. He stayed with my second step-mom even after she accused him of raping me (which he didn't.....she is just effing psycho) AND let her totally control the time that I spent with him. I can't stand parents that don't put their children first. I just don't get it. If my SO had a different view we would have some issues.


    Answer by ajguinn at 7:32 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • and I do agree with anetrnlov, when the marriage is stable and taken care of, it makes the other parts of the family that much easier and better. the marriage is the foundation of the family, and when its going well, everything else runs smoother - as both parents are happier, more fulfilled, and better able to perform their parental/spousal duties.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 7:34 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Well that is sad that you can't stand people just because you can't understand why they do what they do.  You assume that putting ones spouse before their children will affect a child negatively because of your own experience but as with anything else, the generalization is hardly accurate when applied to the majority of people who hold said belief.


    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:37 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Here is how my father put it... yes, the bible says the Man is the head of the household BUT-he looks at it like being the Captain of the are the head but that means you do what is best for the crew (your family) Never forget, the Captain always goes down with the ship. My Father was an awesome Captain, he always put the interest of his crew (us) first and expected the same from us.

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 7:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2009