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Does anyone else go through this...I never see my teen age son!

I want him to spend more time here with us but he hates being in the house. he loves to hang out with his friends, go to the ymca, ect. His curfew now is 9:30 now that school is out. I will let him stay out a bit later only if he is in either his girl friends house with her mom their of course! or his best friends house and either one of their parents will drive him home. I am constantly calling him on the phone asking him where he is, and he is like Omg mom you know I am ok why do you keep calling. But I miss him and I think that is why I always call. I told him how I feel and that I would like us to do something one on one, and he is like ok I will but never does. I cant force him to hang out with momy, what should I do? any suggestions?

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bellamommyof4

Asked by bellamommyof4 at 7:38 PM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 16 (2,448 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • you have to let go a little. he just sounds like he's finding his independence. i see my son who will be 17 whenever he decides to come out into the light LOL. he spends time with the family but he also needs time for things & poeple his own age. he'll be 17 in september.
    i got tired of his sister & him fighting this past weekend i shipped him off to a friends house for 3-4 days so everything could simmer down. the friends are close family friends & know that if misbehaves they can punish him LOL. only he is a little helpful angel when with them.
    we keep in constant touch only because of a tragedy in our family last summer.
    justjacki

    Answer by justjacki at 7:52 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I go through the same thing with my 15 yo dd. But it is normal to want to be with their friends and out. I say the same thing that you say, but I remember being 16 and wanting to just be at the b each and with my friends. Letting go is so hard, I know, but if you don't give a little he'll just want to be gone more. I have found that a quick text, maybe where are you? when you coming home? that kind of thing makes her keep in touch more. And really just being a part of her day makes me happy.
    Good Luck.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 8:21 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • thanks
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 8:31 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I have 4 teens who up until this year lived up my bum...no joke! And then one day they were gone all the time, I still struggle with it but I understand that they are spreading there wings so I try to not let it show how much it bothers me. I miss them...but I am also starting to enjoy some of the quite time I get when they aren't here.

    Like wallmom said I text them, just quick hi how is it going? And they know to check in periodically, heck thier friends now "check in" with me..of course they are goof balls and just like to mess with me, but that ok, I know they are ALL ok.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:53 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I agree with PP, if he is doing well, happy, keeping out of trouble, try to bite your tongue. Give him space or he'll go away more.

    I'd just let him know that your there, let him know he can bring friends around, etc., and similarly, I always let me kids know I'll drive them and their friends where ever (you can learn alot about your kids when their friends are in the car!!!).

    Try to remain light but ask him about the kids he is with (things like who he really likes, if they have gf, etc.) but back off if he doesn't want to share. I know alot about my kids friends, so it helps even to ask "hey, how did x's soccer game go", etc. Occassionally, for a bday or some family event tell him in a sly way how much it is nice to be with him for a change, or tell him it's great he has all those friends, but you sure do enjoy it when he is around.
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 10:18 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

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