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Is it unreasonable to expect that my boyfriend won't share my personal business with his nosey mother?

Boyfriend lives with his mother (long story). She and I don't speak to each other (another long story). But she feels it is ok to ask my boyfriend about my personal business, and he feels that it's ok for him to share it with her! Then he tells me about the "advice" she has given (indirectly to ME...through my boyfriend!).

Her busy-body nature is what caused me to stop talking to her in the first place. She said some stuff about me that I will NEVER forgive. Apparently, she hasn't learned to mind her own beeswax!!

And I know that my boyfriend is close to his mother (Mr. Momma's Boy), but that doesn't give him the right to tell her about every conversation he and I have!!

Am I being unreasonable?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think you need to sit him down and tell him that you prefer your conversations with him be 'private' and he does not have to share everything with his mother! If it keeps up you may have to watch what you say (especially if it is something you really dont' want her to know).

    My mil likes to poke her nose in our finances-- we bought a 'new' (used) van and I hear "so how much did that cost?" I hate it when hubs will tell her things like that. I tell him that if she starts asking how much we pay to reply "why do YOU want to pay for it cause it cost us $50,000(I like using that figure- no matter what the real cost was)".

    If your bf keeps blabbing everything to mommy dearest you may have no choice but to dump him and look for someone who does not have such a nosey mom.

    I hope things get better-- Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:52 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • No, and you really need to weigh if you want to continue this relationship. He either doesn't have the sense to know what is private information or doesn't respect you enough to keep information private. If the relationship goes forward expect to have his mother in all your business.

    Answer by teamquinn at 8:46 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • you are unreasonable only if you think it's going to stop

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:46 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • No,momma need to mind her business,you can tell her that in a very nice respectable way.And, tell you BF,it's alright if he talk to his momma,but,just keep your name out of the conversation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I would feel the same...I would probably do something like have something and start talking about it but dont give any info away just make it very vague and stop in the middle and be like nevermind I dont wanna tell YOU..hell be like Y
    u say cuz then ur just gonna talk to ur mom about it and try to feed me her advice indirectly..
    so nevermind I dont wanna talk about that anymore and change the subject

    then he'll feel bad like u cant even trust him enough to have a convo with him about anyting personal cuz of his actions

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:52 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Boy was this a great question so let me answer you first before I share with you my story.  NO NO NO YOU ARE NOT BEING UNREASONABLE.  I am in my fourth marriage and my father in law and I totally cant stand each other.  He talks about me behind my back and has even called me out a couple of times but when I came back at him he backed down.  I have tried for 10 years to get along out of respect for my husband the fact that it is his dad.  Things have been said from the beginning like you will never marry my son, your kids will never be considered my grandchildren, I hate your house, you have a big mouth.  Tells his son he would be better off without me, that I will end up leaving him and even has tried to break us up.  My husband loves me dearly and knows how hard I have tried.  This past summer I was out there and even tried killing him with kindness and all it got me was a bunch of talk behind my back. 


    Answer by redlocks1959 at 9:31 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I know you want to stay anonymous but I couldnt fit everything in I wanted to tell you so if you like add me as a friend and we can talk or I can just listen I have been through this more then once.

    Answer by redlocks1959 at 9:33 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Personally, that would bother me if my boyfriend, now husband, told his mother things about us.

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:52 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Your BF isn't stupid. He knows this bothers you and that you consider it inappropriate. It won't strop until he grows up or mom is no longer around. If he really doesn't mean to cause drama and you are over reacting because of past experiences you need to either forgive or move on. Mom is part of the package deal. DO NOT make him choose. The relationship will suffer.

    Answer by 2bennettmom at 1:15 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Yes you are being unreasonable. It sounds like you are threatened by the relationship he has with his mother. You need to show her a little more respect. Especially if you are considering spending your life with this man. That's his mom and he trusts her with everything.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:54 AM on Jun. 25, 2009