Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my sister needs my help but i dont think i can help her what do i do?

Ok this is the short story... my sister is only 13 her and her bf have been going out for about 2 years now and shes already talking to me about having sex with him i meen shes only 13 i was kinda freaked to hear her say that. My mom died a few years ago because of a drunk driver so i had to take care of my sister. So sort of im a mother of 4 .. soon 5. Now im just stuck what should i do if my 13 year old sister wants to have sex already... ( her boyfriend is15 )

Answer Question
 
Lilysmom1988

Asked by Lilysmom1988 at 9:35 PM on Jun. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Talk to her about all the reasons she should wait, and make sure she does know about birth control. A girl that young might want to become pregnant just to recapture that mother/child bond that she's lost.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Where's your father? All responsibility lies with him, so be careful in what you tell/teach her. If you believe that 13 is really too young, then talk to her about that. It's wonderful that she came to you with this. Is she looking for birth control or is she just looking for someone to talk to about it? I'm not sure by what you write if she's already had sex or is thinking about it. Maybe she's hoping you'll give her all the reasons she shouldn't.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 9:40 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • I would talk to her from the heart. Having sex is something for married people imo so thats how I would approach her. Also, I believe that it should be saved for one person only... your husband. Its wonderful that she's open to talking to you about it... not you have the responsibility of leading her to make the right decision. She really has no clue what she will be getting herself into if she does have sex with him.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 9:41 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • this sounds exactly like what i went through with my 14 yr old sister a month ago. this worked for me. i told her all the bad things that have happened with my kids. and how i got prego with both my kids on birth control. the story that got her and her bf which i also talked to was my daughter pooped her diaper and pulled it out with her hand and smeared it all over herself, toys and little sister and i had to clean it all up also show her how much it cost to raise a baby take her to the store and show her the cost of everthing in the baby section. also if you are religious use that to your advantage
    mommadent

    Answer by mommadent at 9:41 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Tell her to wait. She is way to young to be dating, let alone having sex. Where is her father? This should be his responsibility not yours.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:45 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • My father i really dont know. My father i never met but my sisters father ive met but he left after she was born because he didnt want a child i said that was so screwed up i meen who would have sex then have a baby then leave?!
    Lilysmom1988

    Answer by Lilysmom1988 at 9:51 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Please have the banana and condom talk with her.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:14 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • tell her to wait but but put her on birth control. at 13 your still a baby and i think children are growing up way to fast and if i could i wish i waited for everything..... i dont think i need to go into details
    orion07

    Answer by orion07 at 10:20 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • sorry to about your mom. i would tell her all the reasons she should waite, i would take her to see aids paitents, i would take her to see teen moms, i would do what ever i could to prevent her from having sex, the harsh reality is no amtter what children are having sex and they are getting younger, the only thing you can do is teach her and prepare her for what comes with that. she may have already had sex and want to know your reaction, i would also have a talk with that young man (w/hubby present) and explain to him so things and ask what his intentions are, and why can't he waite, all you can really do is TEACH, TEACH her about this dangerous thing SEX!
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 10:32 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Yeah..... This is why I'm going to homeschool my kids. Too much is learned at an early age in public schools. If they know right off the bat how you stand and your values, they're more likely to make the right decision the first time. Plus, 13 is way too young for dating even, let alone sex!!! Their brains just aren't mature enough. My advice is to have a heart-to-heart with her and remind her of what your mom would want her to do (assuming it's to wait to have sex!). Tell her it is a major change and that she may not like herself for going through with it. It may not happen right away, but she may eventually feel bad about herself. Yes, I speak from experience. I wasn't as young as she is, but I was still too young. My mom never had the sex talk with me, and I really didn't know how she felt about the subject - she is very introverted and communication wasn't one of her strong points. & I wouldn't just have 1 talk-i'd do more
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN