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Visitation question

So dh just told me that while talking with his ex yesterday she told him that visitation only counts as visitation if he spends four + straight hours with the kids and they cannot be left alone at the house with out him here, so basically if he ends up getting EOWE and he has to go to work during the day (which he almost always does) she has to pick up the boys for the time he is not here and that counts against everything. Is this true? And if not what is she trying to pull by telling him that?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Jun. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I have never heard this, I would have your DH contact his attorney to make sure. It sounds like the ex is just looking to cause problems.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:07 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Does your dh have joint custody, with her having primary physical custody? There is a difference between joint and her having full custody. I do not know about one parent having full custody, but if he has joint custody then she is full of bull. Now, the best idea is for him to go in and talk to a lawyer, the lawyer can look at the custody papers and give you a definite answer.

    Answer by Petie at 10:10 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • well he doesnt have a lawyer, and there is no CO yet or court ordered visitation either, basically from the way he put it they can only come and visit IF he is here the entire time which is always impossible he works 7 days a week

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • but they are going to court tomorrow for everything so thats why I am asking

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Nope she's full of it. She can try to put in the order and ROR -- basically that if he was not going to be with the kids he would have to call her first to give her the opp. to be the one to watch the kids b/f he could ask someone else. HOWEVER, this ROR may not count towards wives etc. (not sure there).
    Also if you are going in already knowing what his work schedule is visitation should be structured with that in mind. Another factor is if they have any siblings at your house, then DEF. no way b/c her taking them would be interfering with their ability to bond with the siblings.
    You need to look up stuff on YOUR states custody rules etc.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:55 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • He also needs to go in with a PLAN -- times that he typically works, times the kids are available, if its to be a whole weekend thing, well his going to work is part of the daily life routine in HIS house and he wants them to be part of his house.
    YOUR DH needs to read the General guidelines for visitation in your state. The time he is used to spending with them/or wants to spend with them. I could understand and ROR if you are going to go out on a date or hire a babysitter but just to go to work no.
    And visitation is however long it is-- 1 hr - 2 - 4 etc. its still time with the other parent. Some parents have 2 hr. visitations on the COURT ORDER.
    THe best way to go into court is with a plan (and a lawyer)

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:57 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • She's just trying to make sure he looks like he doesn't visit with the kids on a regular basis so that when they do go to court she can make him look bad and possibly get a higher child support amount set due to a lack of visitation. They seem to take visitation into account for support amount these days. Perhaps because if you visited the children frequently then you would be providing x number of meals and such that would deduct from the support amount, but if you don't spend time visiting the children that means that the mother is providing ALL the meals and allots her more money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • Seriously, he NEEDS a lawyer. She sounds like she is going to try to pull something, and he needs someone who KNOWs the law to help him out.

    Answer by Petie at 5:35 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

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