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Children and Race...

I had no idea how to go about talking to my children about race. I had initially planned on NOT saying anything because really - what race people are don't really matter to us. What I'm saying is we're not racist. So my initial plan was to just say nothing. Well, my daughter called a little girl a name - that involved her race. I told her that we don't call names - we don't call ANYBODY names. We definitely don't treat people different, just because they look different. And she doesn't. She really doesn't. She wants to be friends with everyone, she loves everyone. My concern is that she DOES distinguish between people's races. She calls black people 'brown', she calls white people 'peach'. Not all the time - she doesn't just go around calling people names. But if she's telling me about them, she describes them as 'peach', 'brown', ect. I don't want to make a big deal about it because I want her to be comfortable enough to be

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You are being a little crazy. We went to the mall one morning before stores were open, and my dd (3 or 4?) wanted to know why the brown girl got to go in the store (she worked there). But she also was very proud one day at daycare to tell me her and her friend (an AA child) had "the SAME hair, wasn't that neat!!" They both had brown hair, and that's where the similarities stopped. But all she saw was color. Sometimes that's not all bad. Throughout her childhood (she is 9 now) she has had many AA friends and AA teachers, she treats them all the same, not because we have made a big deal over RACE, but have made a big deal over RESPECT of anyone they come into contact with. Children are going to notice differences, how you react (overboard maybe) will define how they react to different things.

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 8:45 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • OP (CONT.)
    able to talk to people about their background, their history, their culture. I don't want her to think that her history, background, culture is all that matters because it isn't. I WANT her to be informed. So my question is, I guess, does it really bother anybody that she says 'brown', 'peach', ect (which she came up with on her own)?
    And I just want remind everyone: she doesn't discriminate against people because they are peach, brown, whatever. Usually who she doesn't like are mean kids - no matter what they look like. I really hope nobody is offended because I'm asking a real question.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • why did you ask this twice. Also it would really depend how old your dd is
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think you are worrying over nothing.I read your post but fail to see a problem.Try not to stress so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I didn't your whole post but, I have never brought up race with my children. If they are talking about someone in the description of the person they usually mention the color of their skin but, they do it to everyone. I don't think it is something you need to have a long drawn out talk about. Your child will notices differences in people and that is natural. I have blue eyes and hubby has brown eyes and before our last baby was born we were even on eye color. So, we were all betting to see what color eye the baby would have. Blue won. Just remind your child that they shouldn't call anyone ugly names because it is rude and they wouldn't want to be called names either. Good luck.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:37 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I taught my girls tha the only diffence between races is the amount of melanin in their skin needed by thier ancestors to protect them from the amount of sun they recieved. Brown and peach are really the correct colors we aren't really white or black but many shades in between
    mamak57

    Answer by mamak57 at 6:23 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • My dear old mom(and I use that term loosely) taught my son about race before I had a chance to explain it to him. My nephew is "1/2 black,1/2 white". One day my son asked why his cousin was "darker" than him. She told him he was a "half cast" kid or something like that. It really pissed me off. I wouldn't worry too much about the "brown and peach thing".
    Hang in there girl!
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 7:21 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think we've become such a politically correct conscious society we don't even know how to describe someone using the most basic/obvious descriptions without fear of offending or being labeled racist.

    When describing someone who is "black" is it acceptable to even use that word nowadays, or must I refer to her as African American? I work in retail, and a customer asked if there was a cashier nearby, and I said, "oh, there's a young black girl (she was 17) working over there, her name is Essence...she'll help you." Felt funny to even say the word "black" out loud to a customer.

    The same with Hispanic...are they all Latinos/Latinas now? Just wondering.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think by making a big deal out of it is just crazy. We are all different not just our skin, it's our hair eyes, height, and weight. Do you also point those out to your kids, or is it just the color thing?
    Jessi896

    Answer by Jessi896 at 8:33 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • stating that they are brown or peach is not offensive, to a child they just state the obvious. Just make sure you reinforce that we are all part of the same race, the human race.
    sweet-a-kins

    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 9:15 AM on Jun. 25, 2009