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How do i convince my MIL to not have any more kids...?

I know - it's none of my business - of course it's not, but anyway.

My MIL and I are quite close - she is nearing 50, and has 3 grown up kids. Who do not want any more siblings.

she is going through a really rough time of "empty nest syndrome" - and is saying she is ready for another child.

My objections (which I haven't voiced, because i'm worried it will offend her) are,
1. She is just going through a phase and she might regret it.
2. She was a bit of a lousy mom IMO, her children are not very emotionally healthy people.
3. She smokes - and she smoked through her first 3 pregnancies.
4. Her house is really messy - she barely cleans.
5. She is single (she plans to do IVF0 - and she would have to work while this baby went to daycare.

should i say anything?
i know her kids won't say anything to her, they will just resent her - but they will not tell her not to do this...

what to do, what

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Just go over and sit down with her and just tell her you want to make sure she has REALLY thought this through. And calmly and quietly tell her your reasons why she should think twice about it. And maybe suggest her become a foster mom. Or maybe a adopt an older child.

    Answer by amy31308 at 9:41 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • No, don't say anything. What others want isn't relevant. Spend some time with her and look for opportunities for her to see and talk about young children. For example, go to a restaurant that typically has children running around and screaming and causing havoc. Or while watching TV, see if you can find scenes on the show that include children and mention the responsibility and headaches and how tired the mother is and so forth. But try to keep it very casual and not as if you are actually commenting on her situation, she'd only resent your interference.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:42 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • At her age the chance of a Downs pregnancy would be like 1 in 12. Research the facts, and present it to her.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 10:41 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • It's her life and if she can handle it, then you, the expendable DIL should not have much of a say..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

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