Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Biological parent rights??

I have watched the abortion debate on here get VERY heated, and many on the pro-life side say adoption. Until recently that made so much sense I was thinking DUH but recently I have come across a situation that makes me wonder if there should be laws in place to protect the mother giving up the child that was concieved in horrific situations OR to protect the rights of the child who desperetly wants to know where they come from.

The news story was about a woman who had been raped and given the child up. Yrs later she get a letter from DHS sayin the child wants contact. She doesn't answer b/c she doesn't want to see the child. The child (adult) persists and knocks on the womans door. SHe was devistated and is now suing DHS.

On the other hand a friend oif mine is circulating a petition on facebook for adult adoptees to get thier original birth cirtificates. And at first I was like why not? Then I heard above story.


Asked by momof030404 at 9:39 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 23 (16,925 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Hmmm; this is a hard sittuation; esp for us who've never been in it to have an opinion...

    I think perhaps there is a way to do both...the birth parent should be able at the time of adoption or any time thereafter to contact the agency and ammend their 'contact wishes'. ie perhaps at time of birth they think they would like the child to find them one day and they request the child be given that info should the child come looking for it. And then maybe 10 yrs later they decide it would be too hard or confusing or whatever; they could contact the agency and say; no we've changed our minds please remove our contact information. And vice-versa

    {cont'd below}

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 11:14 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • So how should this work? I think more women will get abortions if there is chance of the child finding them later BUT does the child have the right to know its heritage?? I would really love to hear ya'lls thoughts....

    Answer by momof030404 at 9:40 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • * MORE abortions...sorry.

    Answer by momof030404 at 9:40 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think that the adpotees should be allowed to be able to know where they come from and what happened. if i could give the child the type of care the needed or the child was conceived under traumatic circumstances, they should be allowed to know

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 9:43 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think to many people who advocate adoption forget that it's about more than just providing and infertile couple with a cute little baby. That baby is going to grow up at some point into an adult and that adult IS going to be affected, for better or worse, by the fact that they were adopted. Thanks to reality tv and Lifetime movies, we have a romanticized view on adoption: selfless woman gives up baby even though it's hard. Baby gets adopted by perfect, loving, (almost always) upper middle class family. Baby becomes teenager/adult who then looks for birth mother. They find birth mother who says 'I've waited for this day for so long! I love you so much!' Mother and child embrace and then build wonderful relationship. ~the end~ And when it doesn't turn out that way, like the scenario above, we think the birth mother is weird, or strange. Now the kid feels rejected again and the birth mother is violated AGAIN against

    Answer by mizkaye at 9:46 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • her will. I think she's right to sue DHS. I hope she wins.

    Answer by mizkaye at 9:48 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • There are ways to seal records and make it known you don't want to be found. IMO not wanting contact with the child is not a justifiable reason to murder it. What happened to the mother wasn't the child's fault.

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:48 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think if we want to reduce the number of abortions, we need to bring orphanages back in the states. Not the gloomy, crappy ones of the past, but something completely re-worked. It wouldn't be ideal, but it would be safer than foster care.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I know a number of adopted people with no desire to find their birth mother. I know one who did and has a relationship with her. There are all types of adoptions, sealing the records, open adoptions etc.

    Answer by Carpy at 9:55 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • What about adoptee rights? Shouldn't they have rights too? Because they are adopted they don't have the right to find out where they came from and who they are? They don't have the right to medical information, that for some could save their lives? Birthparents do have rights, but so do adoptees. I will NEVER support a birthparent slamming the door on their biological child. I think it's selfish and cruel. No matter the circumstances, like the PP said, what happened to the mother is NOT the child's fault. I fully support adoptees having access to their Original BCs and to ALL of their information. If you weren't adopted, you have all the information, why should adoptees be any different.

    BTW, I am an adoptee who reunited with my birthfamily. They all accepted me with open arms and I am lucky for that. I was also adopted in the state of FL, which is 1 of 5 states that seal the records and don't give adoptees access. Cont

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 9:57 AM on Jun. 25, 2009