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can you have a crush while in love with someone else?

i dont know if its that i feel disconnect from my df or what. but lately i dont feel sexually attracted to him. hes been treating me great, like he always has, well most of the time. but now it seems lik im holding a grudge that i never have before about something that happened awhile back. he was cyber-cheating on me and i left him only to go back 3 days later. but i met this guy at work and we are freinds but recently ive been having feelings for him. i thought it was just lust but hes leaving for a month and it makes me upset. i love my df, but i feel very sexually attracted to this guy, me and df have only been together 3 years. is this normal? i dont think it is. i just cant figure out y i feel this way. any ideas?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Yes. This is how an affair starts. Not sayin it will lead to that but. Inititial attaction is how it starts

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 10:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Im married and feel this way. Go figure. I'm very much in love- but this guy is gorgeous and gives me attention I don't get at home.I just think its something new. I would never see myself being with this guy. But idk. Same place you are dear.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • sure you can feel that way and now you should understand what your df is going through. It's the same thing but your's is in real life and his is cyber. It has nothing to do with his feelings for you just as your new "interest" has no bearing on how you feel about your df.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:41 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • o i would never cheat. ever. cause i know how horrible it feels to be cheated on. i was just wondering if anyone else felt this way or if i was just weird or something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Don't use the excuse of "oh cheated on me" to go out there and mess around. You said he treats you great, whatever happened in the past is irrelevant since you guys are together now. You need to think about what you really want. It looks like you have disconnected emotionally from your boyfriend. And that can lead to disaster. You need to remember why you are with him, if you are going through tough times, than you need to work on it. Not turn to someone else. Remember anybody will look good or sound good when you are having problems with your SO. Dont let the "distractions" block you from doing whats right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Well # 1 how did you feel when you found out he was cyber-cheating on you. Well that hurt you, RIGHT? I would back off this GUY at work. If you love and care for your DF then don't F**k up a good thing. I think that you will make a big mistake and regret it in the end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • umm. she said shed never cheat. both you rude anons look at the comment above you.

    Answered at 10:43 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 by: Anonymous
    o i would never cheat. ever. cause i know how horrible it feels to be cheated on. i was just wondering if anyone else felt this way or if i was just weird or something.

    she wrote that.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:49 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • It is normal to have a crush or to be attracted to someone else, you are human after all. It is just what you do with it that makes the difference. My 11 year wedding anniversary is Saturday, and there have been plenty of guys I have found attractive in that time. I usually will tell my hubby about it. I will tell him that I saw this great looking guy today, and it doesn't bother him because we trust each other. I will even point out pretty girls to him when we are out, and he knows I won't mind if he looks at another girl. If you really love your DF then don't do anything you will regret. Admire the guy from afar, or use him for some fantasy material. Just don't put your self in a situation you can't get out of.

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 12:01 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • she said she'd never cheat, but an office flirtatious crush is the same as cyber cheating. So she's doing the same thing. How would her dh feel to know what she told us? Probably like she felt when he was cyber cheating.

    And things DO happen whether we intend for them to or not. If you put yourself in the situation, you run the risk of it going too far.

    She's just as much in the wrong as him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • ok seriously why are people bashing this poor girl. she never said anything about cheating. and being flirtatious isn't cheating. she just wanted to know how to handle it. so lay off

    Answer by ashe87 at 4:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

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