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I have a four year old boy that is overly affectionate. How do I get him to stop?

He talks to strangers regardless of what I have taught him. He loves to run up and hug random people as well as his friends. He is too touchy feely with girls in his class. The teacher said at nap time he and another little girl rub all over each other. I asked them to separate him. I am not sure what to do. The teacher says they rub each other all over and not just on their backs. I told him to keep his hands to himself and his self to him self. He went to the good touch bad touch class at school but he continues to be so affectionate. I do not know what to do or say. His father is afraid too much scolding could scar him and make him feel bad about himself when he grows up. I am very affectionate with all of my kids with hugs and kisses so his father feels it is a result of that. What do I do? None of my other kids did this and he is the youngest one - the oldest being sixteen.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • Have you flat out told him there is to be no touching anyone else at this time? That it is wrong to be touchy feelie like this? He should outgrow it but he has also learned that touching brings comfort. It feels good. That's a hard habit to break.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • a lot of kids that have sensory issues do this, they are trying to seek out physical input. befor he goes to school give him deep pressure on his legs, back and arms. try it for a week and see what happens.

    Answer by mcqueenmom at 12:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Mine did the same, he's just very affectionate, and at an age that he knows things like rubbing tummy's and girls feels good and he's not sure why.
    I told him that now that he's bigger, kisses are for Mommy and Daddy only and he must keep his hands to himself, whether it is for good or bad reasons. If he does it at school, he gets a warning and then he gets in trouble.
    But we don't talk about it being because he's rubbing girls or the birds and bees and all that, we just say that the rule at school is that everyone has to have keep their hands to themselves, no exceptions, he must follow school rules, and explain about personal space.
    At home, we try do give him extra hugs and rubs and Daddy (who hugs him and kisses him as well) also gets on the floor and wrestles with him (it's good contact and bonding).

    Answer by pat7879 at 11:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I can see how someone would say our extra hugs and kisses from us make him want that at school and therefor make it worse, but if you have other children like us, you know that all kids are not like that no matter how much you hug on them. He is though, and if that's what he needs, we'd rather him get that love and affection from us than anyone else.

    Answer by pat7879 at 11:27 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

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