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Should I Be Mad?

My 19 yr old daughter has always blamed me for her life being the way it is. I was a young single mother when I had her. Now she is a young single mother. Everytime I turn around she is asking me to keep the baby which usually I don't mind and always asking me for money. I don't mind helping but then when I can't help her she screams at me and tells me all her family is a peice of shit. Granted I couldn't give her everything she wanted when she was growing up but I did my best to support her. Her dad was never there for her and still isn't. Do I have the right to be mad?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Don't blame yourself for a second. She is an adult and has made adult choices and now needs to take adult responsibilities. You are under no obligation to provide for her. She must support herself and her child. When she criticizes you, she is yanking your chain, knowing that she can get a reaction, and free money, from you. She'll grow up in time. Right now she is self-centered and mean. Do what you want to do, but never feel guilt. Be strong.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:40 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Yes you do. She sounds like an ungrateful brat. She is an adult now and a mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • You have the right to feel however you want. Right or wrong. But, if my daughter acted like that towards me, that would be the LAST time she got anything out of me. You did the best you could on your own, she should be grateful for that. If her life is so horrible, then it's her doing. Don't feel guilty for your feelings. it is your right to feel however you chose.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 11:37 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Yes, you have the right to be mad. Her life is not your fault. She didn't have go out and get pregnant at 19 years old. She's an adult and has to start taking some responsibility for her own actions and life. She's a mother now, not just a child. She needs to act like one.
    christaberk

    Answer by christaberk at 11:38 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • She is very disrespectful towards me and has been since she was 13. I want to just stay away but the only reason I don't is because of the granddaughter. I still have a 14 yr old son at home I am raising but she doesn't think about that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Thank you ladies. This was very helpful. Oh plus she isnt working and is living with a 32 yr old man that is supporting her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I had an abusive father and a mother who was in an accident and was either in hospitals or strung out on pain meds. It wasn't the best way to grow up but I thank them because every action they did, made me the person I am today. The good and bad. Your daughter is taking advantage of you. My sister pulls the same thing with my parents. We both grew up with the same parents but we both have very different outlooks on life. Life is what you make of it. She needs to get over herself and grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Jun. 25, 2009

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