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Teenage relationships

What would you do if your teenager was dating someone you didn't like? Let's say the teenager in question is 17.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • Lock them in their room until they're 30.

    Actually, there's really nothing you can do. If you tell your kid you don't like who they're dating, they'll most likely go straight to rebelling and see the other person more. However, if you just be cool about it, it'll probably go away. I mean, really, they're teenagers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Unfortunately, you are in a predicament. Telling the teen not to date said person will push him/her closer to said person. You could play the "as long as you live under my roof" game, but at that age, they are just as likely to pack their stuff. Try talking calmly to your teen and find out what the attraction is, maybe if they feel you are interested, they will open up to you. Maybe you are missing some great quality this other teen has.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 1:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Invite the BF/GF over for dinner. Often. Welcome the child into your family with open arms.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:06 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Some additional info would be nice.

    -Why don't you like them?
    -Have you honestly given them a fair chance? Have you made solid attempts to get to know them?

    Invite the BF/GF to your house for gatherings and dinners. Maybe they're just nervous around you because they can sense you don't like them.

    Ask your teen why they like their BF/GF, and what qualities they admire in this person.

    Speaking from experience as the GF that his parents didn't like and refused to accept, I ask you to calm down, see the BF/GF through your child's eyes, and give them a chance.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 2:36 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • When my 17 year old started dating her BF, i had some reservations. He has been in trouble with the law (minor in possesion and stole a motorcylce) around town, which is small, his family has a bad rep. But I have taken the time to get to know him and he relly is a good kid, he just hasn't really been shown the way, so what I told him and her is that I will not judge him on his past, but I will hold to anything he does from that point on. He has been doing his time and community service, paying his fines and so forth, I am now proud of him. But I had I followed what everyone in town thought I would never have taken the time. They even tried to accuse him of breaking in to the store and stealing, problem with that is he was at my house during the time frame, the store owner doesn't care and banned him and his brothers from the store, even though the brothers did nothing. I guess what I am saying is don't judge the book ....
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 4:19 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • oh, man - my mom is going through this with my 16 y/o sister. we do not like her boyfriend, BUT like other ladies said, if you say no, your teen will just rebel and "hate" you. also, like another poster shared, i, too, have been the girlfriend that my now ex-boyfriends parents didn't like & it felt awful. it would be much better to invite them over & get to know him/her better.
    Wheepingchree

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 5:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • i was 17 and i was pregnant my mom hated boyfriend now DH...told me she didn't want me to see him anymore and took the phones...i found away to get a hold of him...told him to meet me at my house at exactly 3:10 .that's the time she was picking up my nieces..he met me and my bags were packed...i stayed with him for him today..my mom found away to get a hold of me and told me she would press charges on him for statutory..he was 18 when he knocked me up...i went home..but she knew what i would do and she let me see him after that..

    i find out now that since 2005 that in most states the legal consenting age for sex is 17 and is only statutory if the person in question is i think 4 years older...
    so my mom had nothing,and i could have stayed with him longer..wish i had of we had fun..
    but non the less i am married to him now and wouldn't change it..
    so why don't you like him
    pisces_chick89

    Answer by pisces_chick89 at 7:22 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • First ,why don't you like your daughter's boyfriend? if it's the age difference ,There's nothing you can really do about it .just get to know the boy better. and keep an eye on the relationship. if it's because something he did or said I would sit them both down and have a talk with both of them and confront him. And tell them how you feel about that..
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:46 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I think you would have to have some serious cause to tell your kid you don't like who they are dating and a real serious reason if you think you'd intervene. Especially at 17, you don't own your kid and his brain... he/she will like who and what they want. Dating is also to find out what kind of person you want to be with and it is logical you may not like all of your kids boyfriends.

    I would just try to get to know him better, and make her feel loved and supported in her relatinships - period, unless he really has done something illegal, immoral, etc.
    PhillyinFrance

    Answer by PhillyinFrance at 12:27 PM on Jun. 27, 2009

  • read the first answer again.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:03 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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