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SAHM: Is this a right, privilege or a responsibility?

The ecomony is bad right now and I have seen several SAHM frustrated that their husbands are not making enough money. In our house, we work and stagger our schedules so the kids spend very few hours in day care/pre-school.

Why are some SAHM not willing to work, WAH, part-time when her family is stuggling. I wonder if your perception of SAHM being right, privilege or a responsibility has anything to do with it.


Asked by Niki_sd at 1:51 PM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 18 (5,207 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (97)
  • And he does take care of the kids and the house on his off days. This is called 'team work' and we are a team. When something needs to be done, we step up and do it...when we needed more money, I went out and got us some. Since that meant I would need more help in the house, my husband gladly took up my slack. I refuse to let my husband work himself physically to death and never see his kids...that's just not acceptable to me. Eventually the family he's working for would become something he resented. Better that I use my skills to do what I can...which I'm glad I can do...and my kids get to see a team effort in real time!

    Answer by mizkaye at 8:16 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Well, i am a SAHM and we sure are struggling. BUT the problem is, i have been looking for a job for 2 months now, and nothing. Its also a problem because i have nobody to watch the kids so that i can go everyday to apply for a job. I have to wait for my husband's day off. Which is Friday and Saturday. I can only use Friday. So basically right now, i am looking forward to being a WOHM.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • a lof of time it isnt a choice, like if they or their child is disabled. and many stay at home moms have work at home jobs. I am a sahm right now because my son is still young, we cant afford daycare, have no one around to watch him if I was to work, and my SO works all day and isnt always home the same time, so I could see myself calling in late to work a lot and that isnt tolerated at most jobs. Don't we all wish we'd bring home more money?! SO gets paid weekly and pretty well. he has a lot to show for it, and we live comfortably, but we could always use some extra income! once my son is in school I'll go back to work

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Im not a SAHM. But I think that SAHMS should try and get a job to help the family out. It's a privilege IMO

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • My mother is a SAHW (stay at home wife) lol she has no more children living at her house and spends he days shopping, and sleeping, or on her computer. My fathers hours got cut after working almost 80 hours a week at SC Johnson. My father can bearly make the morgage, and my mother just bitches because there isnt enough money to buy the "nice" things in life.
    I just want to strangle her, I mean I love her, but she thinks because she raised three kids for 16 years (when we all moved out) that she has the right to retire and make my dad work like a dog for the rest of his life.
    I wish my dad would leave her ass, JUST so she understands what he does for ehr everyday, and has done for the past 22 years.

    Answer by judith_visco at 1:56 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Women have been taking care of their kids at home for centuries this is not an old concept- the best person for a child is his actual mother- no daycare can love my son- kiss his boo boos away- and I dont have to worry about pedifiles or child abuse unreported at a daycare. Alot of stuff you dont see- like teachers screaming at kids when their are no parents around- I know I worked at 2 diffrent daycares and I swore my kids would never go to one- I saw 2 much stuff and they do not tell you always why thry fire someone. I worked with a girl who scared the babies and thought it was funny and she got fired but first she got spoken to about it, they keep her only after she pounded on the kids to get then to go to sleep- you where suppossed to gently rub or pat their backs. When I complained that people brought their kids in sick and made other kids sick- they gave them Tylenol- my boss said its a business we make money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • it seems like all the posters so far are a little of each (right, priveledge responsibility). I guess it depends on the situation!

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:00 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I think it is between a man and his wife and nobodys business if that is how they want to live their life. I am proud yto be A STAHM and we budget- we planned it- and we are not in the poor house. It is a sacrifice of love- I gave up my carrer for my kids for now, and they will remember it later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • A lot of SAHMs are in a catch-22 situation. If they work, then they have to pay for daycare, and a lot of them cannot get a job that would do much more than pay for that, and the gas to get to work bc of lack of education, job experience or having been out of work for so long. So, they choose to stay at home instead. I'm a WAHW (work at home wife) atm, with a baby on the way and I think that every woman's situation is unique!

    Answer by Emuu at 2:05 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I see it as a choice ---- a choice between mom & dad... and nobody else.

    Nobody can really speak for anyone else. The view from the outside looking in is often obscurred. We never know all that goes on in someone else's home. People have different expectations, different agreements.

    My husband would work 3 or 4 jobs before I went to work. A lot of people will read that and then call me some dirty names LOL... but they don't know my family, my husband, myself.

    Sometimes, THAT is the CHOICE couples make together & it's nobody else's business WHY they choose what they choose. So, don't be so quick to judge.... the best solution to the Jones' needs isn't going to be the best solution for the Smiths' needs.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 2:06 PM on Jun. 25, 2009