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Is there anyone out there who knows the law regarding child behavior or lack there of?

I am a nanny for a family in Mass and these kids call me fat bitch, fat, retard, are constantly yelling at me, and ignore everything that I tell them to do. Dad works all the time, mom is not in the picture and I can't take this any longer. Should I call social services now or wait until I leave or not call at all. this isn't the only problem. The oldest child is constantly beating up on his younger brother. His 5 yr sister is half afraid of him and half repeats what she sees him doing. I don't get paid regularly and am treated with disdain. HELP!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • Im not sure that there is anything social services can do. i'd just quit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I was a Nanny (also in Massachusetts) for almost 8 years (same family). I think you need to have a chat with the parents as to what you are allowed to do in terms of discipline. When I was the Nanny, I had FULL AUTHORITY to discipline as I saw fit!

    The children are acting out as a result of getting no attention from their parents, and they seem to have established control over you. I don't know if you can regain control of the situation, but it starts with establishing ground rules, and being consistent with them. If you are unwilling or unable to regain control, or the parents forbid you to properly discipline, then I recommend finding a new family to assist.

    Your JOB as a Nanny is to serve as a parent for the children. You are responsible for them and their behaviors...to a point!

    I took care of 3 boys, only disciplined them a handful of times in the 8 years. Clear and consistent expectations lead to respect!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 3:06 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I have tried discipline, but if they don't like my answer, all they have to do is call dad and he will say the opposite. I have been a nanny before, but I have never, ever worked with such blatent disrespect from everyone involved. I took this job in good faith, but any trust that had previously been established between the father and myself has now been broken. I am glad that I saved all of our correspondence because I can see that he omitted a lot about what was really going on at home. My mom thinks that I should sue him for breach of contract, but that takes time and money that I don't have.
    jenniferinvt23

    Answer by jenniferinvt23 at 5:50 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I would either let the father know that you are going to be bringing in discipline or turn in your two week notice, in that notice I would make it very clear as to why you are leaving. He needs a serious wake up call!
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 6:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I would quit in a heartbeat. I really don't think CPS will do anything, unless you have proof of the older one beating up the younger one. Your best bet would be to quit now, especially seeing you aren't getting paid on a regular basis.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:21 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • i live in mass and all i can say is run as fast as you can ...mass is filled with spoiled wrotten entitled little brats....who think they can get away with everything.there parents are even worse,good luck.and i can also tell you in mass its dys division of youth services....and i tell you they wont do a thing...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I'd tell the parents what they could do with their nanny job and quit yesterday!! You don't get paid enough to put up with treatment like that ( I don't know how much you get paid, but it can't possibly be enough to get treated that way)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I agree with LoriKeet, but if you've already tried discipline and speaking with the father and he did nothing, then quit. You can't win this one. No one deserves to be mistreated by anyone let alone a child. As for calling social services or filing a lawsuit. Eh, not sure. If you think it would make a difference then try, otherwise it could just be a waste of your time.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 12:27 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

  • This Q makes me mad. The kid's dad should be working with you for the sake of these kids. I'd say whatever Nanny says GOES!! No questions asked,just the same as w/the other parent being at home w/the kids. I don't think you should just fly the coup w/o telling the kid's dad the reason you are giving notice. No matter wither or not he listens. Type him up a really good letter telling him what you needed (total support)from him that you did not get AND especially your concerns for these kids. Also that you have not been PAID in the manner agreed to. When you move on learn from this and always tell the parents up front Total support is mandatory!

    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 7:50 PM on Jun. 30, 2009

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