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Is it okay for my 4yr old little girl to pretend that she is a boy?

My 4 YO little girl pretends that she is a boy quite often. Almost everyday she pretends that she is a boy and makes up a new name for herself/himself almost everyday. I thought that she was very imaginative and that she just wanted to pretend she was a boy bc she has 2 sisters and no brothers. She is around boys often bc shes has a lot of boy cousins and boy neighbors. But don't get me wrong she has just as many girl friends as she does boy friends. She loves the color pink, dresses, Barbies, her fingers painted, anything girlie. My mom thinks that theres something wrong with her acting like a boy so much. What is your opinions?

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Asked by agallardo at 4:24 PM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (13)
  • My sister went through a phase where she acted like she was a boy. She still like girly things like earrings, nail polish, and the like. She even got a hair cut to make her look more like a boy. She was so happy when someone would confuse her for a boy. LOL She is a perfectly normal straight girl. She might just be the tomboy in your family.

    Answer by LolosMom at 4:32 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • You heard about chastity Sonny and Cher's daughter is now changing her name to Chaz and her sex.

    Maybe it's just a phase, because you said she likes pink, nails painted, and girlie stuff.

    Don't make a big deal about it and maybe she is just having fun being a kid and she will grow out of it.

    I have a real personal question tho, if she was gay or transgender later in life would you have a problem with that?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • its fine! :) its just another way for her to make believe. to her, pretending to be a boy is just like pretending to be a ballerina or a cat.
    funny note: i made my parents call me 'Will' for months on end when i was a kid. (like Will Scarlet, from the robin hood movie) i have great memories as Will!! lol

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 4:34 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Thank you so much everyone. I am reassured that it is just a phase. I thought it was cute and knew that she just loves to play pretend. I go along with it even when she calls me dude. Today she said she was a boy that loved to skateboard and had diamonds in her teeth. I REALLY do not know where she got that from. And to answer that question, no I would never disown my girls. They are what they are. I would support them and love them just the same. they are growing up in church and we talk about family and life issues and what Jesus expects of them. They would know that Jesus loves them no matter what but they are supposed to be in a man and woman relationship. Not them with another woman. They are very aware of what Heaven and Hell is.

    Answer by agallardo at 4:45 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • op you say you would not disown your children that's good, but you raise them to believe that if they did not grow up to be with the opposite sex and wanted to be with the same sex they would go to hell?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • It's normal.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:25 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • My question definitely wasn't asked for someone start an argument with me. I just wanted to know if there were other girls out there that had the same imagination mine does. Because I have three little girls. I love them unconditionly no matter what, when, where or who. But yes, if anyone, my girls, someone else's girls, the neighbors girls, any girls. If they grow up and have a relationship with a woman and not a man then they will go to hell and thats what my family and I believe. If you do not like that then please stop responding.

    Answer by agallardo at 6:52 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I was like that when i was small. I married now with two kids. It was because i wanted to fit in better with the boys i played with so they would stop saying she cant do this or that because she is a girl. Trust me shell be fine imagination is good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Do not stress and don't allow anyone to talk about it in a negative way in your child's presence. Children try on different roles and the opposite gender all the time. Children use play as a way to work on understanding their world. She may be working on why boys can do certain things girls can't (her perception of that), picking up on gender inequities, or just pretending to be like dad and trying on what it is like to be a boy to understand that better. She could be role playing what type of boy she likes the best. Could this be something "more" in the sense she could be gay or feel she is the wrong one can say until she does. But that is so rare and for now that would be inappropriate to even suggest that it is more than what it is. Just except her play and enjoy her creativity and spirit. Point being: don't give it another thought.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:51 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I agree with frogdawg.
    I was just as worried about my son putting on my daughter's dresses. I told him no and he begged and begged. My mom told me to let him do it, nothing to worry about. So I let him and put on all the dresses and hats and jewelry and walked around in the shoes and had a great time. He did it for about 2 or 3 months and then forgot about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

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