The adult diapers may not fit him, but there are brands designed just for older children who need them. Tranquility is one such brand and you can get it from a home health company. If a child has special needs, insurance will often cover the whole cost or partial cost of purchasing the, but I don't know about for someone in your situation. However, if I were you, I would call and ask your insurance company to see, because whether you are buying either the adult diapers or the ones made for older kids, it's going to cost. You may even be able to get some chux (blue underpad to protect the mattress) covered by insurance.
As for who is to change your son, why don't you ask him? He may want to try to do it himself at first, then realize that is too difficult and ask you to do it, but either way, at his age it should be his decision unless he is incapable of making such a decision.
at 10:51 PM on Jun. 25, 2009