Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you stay or go...what would you do?

My SO who doesn't live with us and isn't my sons father called me a wh*re, sl*t, b*tch, c*nt, stupid and retarted during a fight but says that he still wants to be with me and that he is sorry for calling me those names.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Tell him you need time to think about his apology. I doubt if it's sincere if he used all those words. If he slipped and said one it would be different. He obviously has some anger issues. Would I stay? No.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:31 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • A man who will verbally abuse a women in anger does not and will not ever have the respect for a women that he should. They do that because they feel us women are beneath them. If your not married leave and find someone who will respect you. If your married get counseling good luck
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 8:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • No, time to walk a different road in your life. He wouldn't have said all of this if he really cared about you. It could be that he finds your relationship convenient or familiar. He needs to find his own life, too.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • Sometimes when people are really angry or hurt they say a bunch of crap they don't mean, they are just trying hurt the other person cuz there hurting or mad, but once they get over there anger they are really sorry. Know if your always fighting and name calling then are you really truly going to be happy living that way?
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 8:35 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/WO00044

    Just b/c he says sorry doesn't mean all will be ok. My vote is don't take him back.
    HolliBerry21

    Answer by HolliBerry21 at 8:38 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I would leave..if he'll do it once he'll do it again no matter what he says and noone needs to be called names like that by someone who is suppposed to love and take care of them
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 8:41 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • if this is the first time he has done it i would give him a second chance but if hes done it repeatily then i kick his ass to the curb...ive been there and done it with many exs men like that dont ever grow up they stay little boys for life.
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 8:47 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I wouldn't stay. Calling you one name, maybe just a bitch, I would say was in the heat of the moment and he was just looking to hurt you. But to use ALL those names....he'd have to really be angry, or really think you are all those things, and either way, that's not a man I'd want to be with.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:47 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I guess it would depend on your self esteem for me. My Dh does call me names, but I don't actually listen to him. I know that I am not those things and so it doesn't bother me. He's just blowing off steam. I know in this society, there's a big push not to name call anymore, and that's great, but the older generations need more time to assimilate those lessons, than your average school age child. Honestly, my DH doesn't ever say anything worse than my little sister usually says (she just has a potty mouth sometimes) and he doesn't usually say those in front of our kids. She does. I just think sometimes in society we get way to PC and overly sensitive about things like this. If he does this everyday, and he actually has you believing those things about yourself, then yes, I would leave. But if its an occassional thing, not so much. The fact is that some of us, when we are emotional, are just not that eloquent sometimes.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 9:07 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

  • I have been in a situation similar to yours but mine gave me the silent treatment for days and days and would agree to do something more than once very very important to help our kids and that I got ok from him on plus reminded him about it, then, he'd turn tables and on the way there scream and swear at me that what ever was wrong and shouldn't be done. I am telling you that his behavior will worsen. Leave, who's your best friend in the whole world that would basically clean poop from your bottom or sometlhing like that if you got so so sick? You know what I'm trying to say? Sometimes we have friends and other times we have good friends. And other times we have a friend who would never never turn their back on you, no matter what. Do you have a friend or relative like that to go stay with? Tell SO w/a professional or personal support that until a counsellor has him living daily respect of life, youre gone,seriously.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Jun. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.