I'm adopting my little girl. Today I saw my lawyer and she gave me a paper to gather information from the birth-mother about their medical history. I called my daughters biological grandmother she gave me some information. Then I called the birth-mom to get information. Now the birth-mom doesn't know I talk to her mom. Now the problem is one is telling me conditions that the other has but they didn't tell me that. Like the birth-mom told me that the grandmother had breast cancer but the grandmother didn't tell me that. So, should I write down that she had breast cancer?!?! Err who knew this could be so complicated. I mean I'm talking about a girl that told me she wasn't caucasian, she was white. She really argued with me over this!!
Asked by HannahLee87 at 10:33 PM on Jun. 25, 2009 in Adoption
Level 10 (434 Credits)Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:40 PM on Jun. 25, 2009
Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:38 PM on Jun. 25, 2009
Answer by HannahLee87 at 10:43 PM on Jun. 25, 2009
Just accept what is presented, keep it in mind, and let doctor's know the "potential" issues but that you are not quite certain. It can certainly be most helpful to have medical history....I am often asked if my son's brothers/sisters/biofamily has a history of different issues. But that is to only rule out or to get a better grasp of what might be going on. But despite not having much information because my child's birthmother is not very open about any issue related to her, we still get the most appropriate care and we have not had any problems finding answers. It may be frustrating but just listen, smile, and say thank you. Keeping that line open for the future is important. There may come a time when you or your daughter needs and wants to contact her birthfamily. No matter how they give information (unless it directly harms your child), when, or if it is not the most truthful - just keep your reactions neutral.
Answer by frogdawg at 11:03 PM on Jun. 25, 2009
Answer by HannahLee87 at 11:09 PM on Jun. 25, 2009
Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:58 AM on Jun. 26, 2009
Answer by HannahLee87 at 2:06 AM on Jun. 26, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 AM on Jun. 26, 2009
Family history is an ongoing thing. Don't believe for a moment that you will ever "get it all." 20 years ago my family history was that my grandmother died of cancer. Well now that I've lost 3/4 grandparents, and several aunts and uncles have died or had surgeries, my own family history is a whole lot more detailed... Your doctor will just have to do those extra tests... And yeah your lawyer's assistant should probably be doing this , but it would cost you extra. Give the lawyer the information you have gathered and ask her to go over it for proper format. I'm sure the judge has seen it all before.
Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Jun. 26, 2009
Answer by Jaydin_Makenna at 3:22 PM on Jun. 26, 2009
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