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Why does he do this?

When we fight he puts me down. He tells me that I don't have any friends, that I'm a worthless mom, and that I will never find love because no man will ever be able to love me the way that I am. He says that my parents and son only loves me because they have to and if my son knew any better, he would want to trade me in. He tries to make me feel like I am good for nothing.

I get upset at times and sometimes I do overreact but I am only human and it seems like the only time this stuff occurs is when I talk to him. I tell him that we shouldn't be together anymore because I feel in my heart that we are just not meant to be because we fight too much and he can't seem to get that through his head. He tells me he says these things because he loves me and only wants to help me be a better person and that I need to realize what he says is true.

What he says about me is not true but it cuts my heart deep.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • you should leave if he loved you the thought of those things wouldnt even come into his mind..anyone who can say those things about you isnt even worth your spit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • ok, i do councling and that dont seem right, i mean he is tell you that for other reasons, like he dont want you to leave but he dont want to say it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Honey, I am so sorry! No one should ever make you feel like that! It's horrible to tell a mother her child would trade her in. I know people hate when women tell other women this, but i think you need to leave him. If this is a daily or common thing, thats abuse and you staying is only going to make it worse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • what kind of wrong sick person would say that to someone he loves.


    Do you love him at all?
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:27 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • May you should tell him that if he want's you to stay then you two need to sit down and get to the bottom of your problem and try and figure it out.
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:29 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I recomend the book "Love Her Respect Him" it's is all about how fighting starts in a marriage and it starts by one person feeling put down! Lets say you feel unloved you jump back and say something that would hurt him intentionally or not.... If he feels you do not respect him he's going to say hurtful things back. It explains how when we are hurt we jump and attack. It also explains how to solve the issue and stop the downhill spiral of hurting eachother back. It is in a christian book store but I bet you could find it other places! It really helped me understand our fights and prevent the hurtful words.
    If you try that and it still doesn't work, to me he sounds hurt and sad for who knows what reason and it's not something you can't mentally deal with for very long. I wish you luck and hope things get better!!! Please remember when he says these things you know the truth and it's him reacting from being hurt himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Honey, there is no help for that relationship...GET OUT NOW!!!!!!
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:34 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • get out or just sit down and say to him " yep your right"......shut them up when they get told that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • When I am left crying, he laughs at me, mocks me, makes fun of me by saying "boo f*cking hoo" or tells me that I am only crying like a baby because I am trying to make myself the victim and that he doesn't feel sorry for me because I am what he says I am.

    I tried reading the book, I bought it off of amazon...it is great but I don't think it can help us, I have tried the techniques and it only backfires.

    I do love him and that is why it cuts me so deep. I am always left wondering what I should do next.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • wow, what a blatant display of emotional abuse AND claiming to do it out of love. There is a great book called Confusing Love for Obsession (control). He is controlling you by saying these horrible things to you. Please look up Emotional abuse and see what he's doing is abuse and you do need to leave. Even if you stay with him in a relationship but not live with him it would help but do something to save your sanity.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:55 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

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