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When you send your children to their room for a time out do you expect them to sit in there and not touch their toys?

I told my cousin that my son got in trouble and i sent him to his room and i went in and he was playing, she said what did you expect him to do? I do expect him not to play with his toys, is that wrong? he's 5


Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (23)
  • Yes, I expect that of my daughter. She just turned 6. People, too much, baby their children. 5-6yo isn't grown-up by any means but they aren't babies. If he doesn't understand the rules now, WHEN is time? My daughter knows the rules. She KNOWS them and she follows them. It's NOT too much to expect. I will say this to anybody that thinks their 5-6 year old is too young for... basic rules. At 5, my daughter knows simple math, how to read, about Martin Luther King, Jr, knows the rules for going outside... she's knows all the words to all her favorite songs. She is smart enough to understand the rules and know the consequences. Not expecting the very best from your children is cutting THEM short. My kids know the rules. They follow them because I expect them too, I enforce them and I don't put up with any bullcrap. People need to quit cutting their kids short.

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 3:03 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Um. yes i think that is wrong. how can you even enforce that?
    If i put my boys in time out, it is in a place where i can see them.
    If i send my boys to their room because i am frustrated or angry or whatever then i expect them to play with their toys. UNLESS they are in such big trouble that i tell them to go to bed. ...that's a WHOLE different thing.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:42 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I do it so he can sit there and think about what he has done, thats the way I was brought up by my parents

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • i don't use time out as punishment. I do positive time outs... meaning if my son is misbehaving we have a "cool off" period until we can find a better solution for delaing with the problem, not to say that there won't be any consequences for bad behavoir but more that the consequences are natural consequences, or logical consequences for what was done. If you send a child to time out when they misbehave as a way of punishment they will either sit there boiling in their anger and there will be no solutions on how to fix the problem because all they are thinking about is how upset they are at you or how disappointed you are at them, or they will completely forget why they are there in the first place. Either way I don't see any benefit in using timeout to punish a child.

    Answer by Precious333 at 1:47 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • anon... sitting there thinking about what the child has done... is what most parents do... but really think about it... how does that help the child learn and grow? Why should they sit there thinking about the wrong thing they did? Shouldn't we learn to think of solutions or how to make things right and not about what we did wrong? Its weird how we tend to do what our parents did, just because they did it and not because there was any logic to it.

    Answer by Precious333 at 1:50 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • precious.
    punishment is physical. like a spanking. timeout is a discipline.
    And it works very well for my boys because i tell them what they did as i put them in timeout. i have taught them coping skills, such as counting, and breathing and then when i get them out of timeout we discuss what they did, and what their options were; such as next time they could walk away. or they could use their words or they could pick a different toy. ect ect.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:52 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • it's not wrong of you to expect that, but they only way that's going to happend is if you sit there with him.

    I don't mind if my boy plays with his toys cuz I know he's not getting into anything else and safe and quite in his room

    Answer by looovemybabies at 1:52 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • But I do know the difference between right and wrong. If you werent being nice, then you do need to sit there and think about that. Why werent you being nice? Why did you throw a fit when I said no? Then maybe the next time, you tend to think about it before you act on it. He will know if the future if he throws a fit, he will go to his room and not get anything at all, instead of taking what is offered. Or he will be nice or he wont play at all. There is plenty of logic in that i think.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • My son also knows that if he plays with his toys, he will then sit in his room longer and miss out on the fun thats going on with his other siblings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Yeah. He's definitely going to play if he's in his room. I agree with someone above me who says she puts her child in time out where she can see them. That's he only way to go. If I put my kids in their rooms they're going go on about their business and forget they ever got in trouble.

    Answer by rachel92782 at 1:58 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

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