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What should I do about my 5 y.o.'s temper?

My 5 yo ds is good as gold most of the time. Then, as if a switch has been flipped, sometimes appearantly for no reason, he flies of the handle. I mean, like screaming, hitting, cussing mad. IDK what else to do. I welcome ANY advice.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Just to let you know, My son has ADHD/ODD. I have read several books on it. The one thing that the books all had in common was reguardless of your choice of med/ therapy/diet the way a child (with these conditions) learns is DiFFRENT. So the USUAL parenting methods don't work. So don't think your doing it wrong. My childs brain just learns cause and effect from misbehavior and punishment diffrent. So all these suggestions are good for the usual fits, but have your son checked for these disorders too. If it is something medical you may have to do a "new" parenting style.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • put her in the conor.
    take oway whats important for her for like a week.
    no tv time.
    can't go outside and play have to stay in her room untill she cleans it up.
    no treats even if everyone else is eating them, I know that helped my friends doughter she's about the same age, they all went out for ice cream and she didn't get any cuz she threw a big fit.

    maybe some of these will help you good luck

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:10 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You're gonna have to temper that temper! LOL J/K. For real, you're gonna have to get serious with him when he does this. When my son was in first grade (he's 19 now) we found out that he had ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). From then on - every time a "fit" began to manifest I immediately counteracted it with my own sort of fit. The punishment always fit the crime, so to speak, but it was certain, swift and strong. It worked. By the time he was in 4th grade - he did not exhibit ODD behavior any longer.

    Here's an example: He would start crying terribly on the way home from school. When I asked him why he would say "you're not gonna let me have my snack". I'd ask "Why not?" - "Cuz I'm not gonna do my homework". So I knew what to do. The snack was set in front of him WHILE he did his homework. I diffused his fit because I DID give him the snack - however, he couldn't EAT it until the homework was finished.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:19 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I know this may sound dumb, but have you had your child looked at for possibly illnesses or things like ADD and ADHD, maybe even bipolar. Mood swings like that for no reason are not typical in children and can be caused by something going on in their lives emotionally physically or medically. But I do agree with the PP, try the time out and taking away the things that matter to them as a punishment.

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:20 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • OP here. ODD is one of a few things I'm afraid of. My youngest bro was diagnosed w/ ODD as a very young child. He's 15 now and still has "fits" from time to time. He has some other issues as well and is in counselling. My hubby has serious anxiety and I've had some situational depression n the past. I know that things like this can run in families so it really concerns me. DS is pretty quiet around new ppl and such but a lot of fun and full of personallity once he opens up, hence his own anxiety (I think.) But the temper is not like a typical tantrum. He has this super short fuse that comes out of nowhere! Like daylight and dark. One minute he's fine and the next he's freakin out and sometimes I don't know why. The best solution I've come up with SO FAR is to sit and literally hold him down until he calms down. This keeps him from hurting anything or anybody including himself. Then we talk and pray about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • BubblyCute, that doesn't sound dumb at all. Maybe not something I WANT to hear but things I've already thought about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You say that your child is good most of the time. Does your child receive praise and complements when he is caught being good? Sometimes the only time a child's behavior is commented on, is when they are behaving badly. Everyone once in a while, praise their good behavior and be specific about what you like that they did. He needs to hear your praise for the good behavior twice as much as hearing about the bad behavior. Also, talk to him about his anger and how he can deal with it appropriately. Does he need to run around the house, punch a pillow, go outside and scream really loud. If he cannot pull himself together in an approriate manner and chooses to hit and use bad language, then there needs to be a consequence for that behavior. Time out for these aggressive outbursts!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 9:40 AM on Jun. 26, 2009