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How do I know if I should end my marriage?

My husband has many good quaulties but does things that are hurtful and disrespectful to me. How do I know if these things are bad enough to break up my three children's family?

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nettie630

Asked by nettie630 at 2:12 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • it depends what they are, can you talk to him about it and say how it makes you feel and that he is breaking your heart to the point to where you want to leave him when he says or does that,
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:18 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You know they are bad enough when you can look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you've done and tried everything you can try to make it work. I personally believe that today to many people quit on their marriage because quitting is just easier then sticking it out. If you love your husband exhaust every avenue you possibly can to make it work, once you've done it all and it still seems to be the same then it's time to walk away.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:18 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I fully agree with bubblycute...
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 2:19 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • That is a hard answer..but if there is physical abuse ,verbal abuse or mental abuse get out ..I lived with my parents that had constant fighting and it wasn't healthy for me..the bad times overrule the good times and the memories are still with me...my parents should have separated and maybe now they would be happy..they are in their 70's still fighting and their excuse was they stayed together for the kids....makes you wonder...hope this gives you insight for your children
    pierresmom

    Answer by pierresmom at 2:21 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Are we talking murder and sexual assault 'disrespectful' here or are we talking 'doesn't go along with my preferences when I feel like having my own way' disrespectful?

    As a 24yr married person, who has a healed broken nose to label the 'bad' days with, I gotta say; I don't know ONE divorced person who is as happy as I am, period --re-married or still alone.

    Of course, I don't look to my husband or my marriage to make me happy -- I'm a happy person who from time to time gets wrapped up in neediness, with someone else needy, and every now and then our lack of resourcefulness puts us into arguments that go too far.

    Your question is blissfully vague, so people can answer according to their own bias (which, clearly, has already happened)... but I have never seen a family torn apart that comes anywhere near as happy as a family who decides it is 'worth it' to stay together and figure out how to be happy, not 'right'.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:25 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You are seriously asking a bunch of chicks on cafemom this question??!! Wow you don't put much importance on your marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • How about I can't sleep and I am reaching out to other mothers to ease my mind enough to get some shut eye. Thanks for your help Anonymous you are such a pal!
    nettie630

    Answer by nettie630 at 7:20 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Well, my DH does things that hurt me sometimes but, I'm alot more emotional than I used to be like when we first dated. We dated and broke up twice before we got married(long story short, I was an idiot). And I had a son inbetween and every since i had him I have been extremely emotional. I could watch the sadest movie and not even want to cry. Now, I can watch a d*mn commercial and cry. It's ridiculous. He also does things that piss me off like not helping around the house except the lawn and the kitty litter. Which the litter has needed changed for quite sometime now(I'm pregnant) and the last time the lawn needed mowed, I'm not even kidding when I say this, he procrastinated for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. Our yard looked like trash. It was hideous and embarrassing. I would've gone and mowed it but being pregnant, trying to push a mower in heat is not a good idea and it would've just pissed him off. But the other night, continued.
    MarineWife1108

    Answer by MarineWife1108 at 8:30 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Well, first let me say that we haven't been intimate very often lately nad my libido is just coming back and even when we were intimate it was like just going through the motions. But the other night it was like it was before we got here and got stressed about bills and crap. So it reminded me that even though he makes me so darn mad sometimes and sometimes does things that upset me and hurt me, I know that we're still in love and we still have our "spark". I guess sometimes you just have to forget about the bull and just enjoy the good times.

    bubblycute has a point. Only you know if it's worth walking away. In my case, so not worth it. It's never anything that would be considered abuse or really damaging. It's always stupid things.
    MarineWife1108

    Answer by MarineWife1108 at 8:35 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • And annon, not everybody has somebody to talk to. I come on here and vent all the time. I live 1,600 miles from my family and my mom's too busy with her bf, my sister has her two kids and pregnancy to worry about, my best friend and I are really only good at hanging out together so we don't talk much anymore and I've only met a few people here and one's out of town and sometimes there's things you don't want to tell people you know because it's embarrassing or might start drama within the family or whatever. And I don't want to vent to the few people I can talk to because the main one is DH's mom!! That was a really rude thing to say.
    MarineWife1108

    Answer by MarineWife1108 at 8:39 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

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