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What do I do about my dad?

I just reunited with my dad a few months ago. I hadn't seen him in over 10 years because of my parents divorce. He has missed so much of my life like me graduating high school, playing college volleyball, getting married and having my daughter. I want him to be in my life again and I don't want him to miss anything else. I want him to come to my daughters 2nd bday party and he said he would love to but isn't comfortable being around my mom and her family. Is it ok for my daughter to have two bday parties? I was thinking about having one on her actual bday and having my dad and my husbands family at that one so that they can all meet and then having the 2nd one the next day. Is that a bad idea? Also, if I have 2 parties, how can I cut the cost of cakes/ decorations, etc. I don't want either family to feel left out. Please help!

Answer Question
 
ang0343

Asked by ang0343 at 10:41 PM on Jun. 21, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 4 (21 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • What a nice "problem" to have! I am happy for you and your daughter. No problem having 2 parties. We did it when we didn't have room and when we had some family issues one year. Make two cakes and low cost fingerfoods (like cheese and crackers, pretzles, chips and dip, nachos and salsa etc) Have it in between meal times so you aren't doing a meal, just snacks. Have fun and do it twice every year if you like!
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 10:53 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Make the cake and get the huge gal ice cream I use to have seprate parties my grandad came first then adults then children but you find what works for you and maybe talk with your mom and her side everyones an adult its about your daughter and maybe ahve someone else he knows come so he feels less out numbered
    vidasmama

    Answer by vidasmama at 10:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I don't feel like you should cater to him at ALL. If he wants to be part of your lives enough, he'll suck it up and be civil for his granddaughter's b-day. I personally would do ONE party, and invite everyone.
    kellybelly7570

    Answer by kellybelly7570 at 11:07 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I don't think having two parties is a bad idea- especially when the party with him and your husband's family will enable him to introduce himself BY himself instead of with the stigma that maybe having your mom's family around would have.
    I'm sure he's not being PICKY picky just scared of how exhiled he may feel at his grand-daughters birthday. In situations like this being bendable (to an reasonable limit) will not only help ease him back into your lives but will never leave you regretting you didn't try hard enough if something, down the road, happens.
    pumpooga

    Answer by pumpooga at 11:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • As the child of divorce I have had two of every event for so long it seems normal to me. I wouldn't throw two large events though, probably a "party" for the first one and then just a "get together" for cake, or simple dinner and cake at the second one.
    Krowla

    Answer by Krowla at 7:46 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I'm also from a divorce situation and have only 1 party for my kids! It's so expensive to do 2. It sounds like you want to do whatever you can to have your dad involved but there comes a time when he needs to grow up and realize its not all about him. It's about his granddaughter! My dad has trouble doing that sometimes too but I just tell him when the party is and that I and my kids would love for him to come! Its then his choice to rise above the divorce or not! I wish you all the best - it's never easy!
    mc0504

    Answer by mc0504 at 11:04 AM on Jun. 25, 2008

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