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should i cave in....?

my husband & i were first planning to a trip to a friends cabin since the kids will be gone. then the cabin fell through, so i thought maybe we could go to a resort. so i looked & found some pretty good deals. thing is i started to tally up our bills & it would put us in a really tight box. we do have a loan that has a $950 & i had mentioned to my husband we can probably use SOME of that. which i really prefer not too that money is kinda already called for. we have good intentions of putting money back but never can. to the point. i told him what was up with the bills & said if you could ask for a $100 then we should be able to do it but i just don't want to take out to much. he got mad said that i always do this which i kinda do but i do the finances. i'm really hurt cause he is blaming it all on me yet he won't ask for a small advance cause he doesn't like to. so he says fine then we won't go. i rather save the money con't


Asked by melody77 at 2:41 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • In this recession, you never know when he'll be laid off. Don't waste the money. You can turn your own home into a personal resort and it won't cost a dime.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:00 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • for more important things that may come up but at what expense? should i let him get over it or cave in? i'm pregnant by the way so i'm really upset. i just feel he doesn't love me enough to put his pride aside to ask for that advance.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:43 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I think a vacation for you and your husband sounds like a great idea. You probably sacrafice so much for your family, and I knwo finances are a big deal, but go for it. You will enjoy yourself, if you don't want to spend the money to go somewhere, just get out of the house. My Fiance and I got a room downtown and played tourist all day! Wjust didn't go home when the night was over. It was an affordable vacation, and we only went 20 mins from our home!

    Answer by RebMavMom at 2:47 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Maybe plan a nice dinner somewer and then take a romantic drive pull over somewere mysterious do some hankey pankey and go back get a hotel room and enjoy the rest of the night together alone.
    My husband and I do that sometimes when we get the chance

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:57 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I like RebMayMoms idea. I have friends who used to rent a hotel room downtown too just to get out of the house and have someone else clean up for the night. If your looking for a really romantic time, get a hotel with room service and you will never have to leave your room. Or def play tourist. you may discover things about your town you never knew!

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:31 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Find a compromise that is cheaper. You should still do a nice get away....but if you break yourself doing it, then it is not enjoyable. It is better to take a big trip when you don't need an "advance" and do something within your budget now.

    I agree with your DH...I would also not want to ask for an advance. It comes across as desperate and unprofessional and can be very uncomfortable.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 7:41 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You only live once. You have to splurge once in a while.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:37 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I can see your hubbys side in not wanting to ask for an advance. What about you compromise-- instead of a big fancy resort what about a regular hotel? I suggest looking online and see what you can find in a price-range that fits your budget. Whenever hubs and I travel I always look online and see where I can get the best rate. Last year for our nephew's wedding I got a room at a 4 star high-quality hotel for alot less than my mil paid at her 3-star 'budget' hotel. Needless to say that gave me a bit of extra spending money.
    Good luck- I hope you find something and have a great time!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:12 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I can see both sides. I can see you wanting to get away and have some time alone with him. But I can also see him not wanting to ask for an advance for something like this. I like the idea that a couple people mentioned about just getting a hotel room in town and playing tourist. Or staying home and turning your home into your own little resort/spa. I think, as enjoyable as the time away might be, if it puts you in a tight spot financially, then you'll just end up all stressed out again and it won't have done you any real good. Regardless of what you decide to do, I hope you have a wonderful time.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:52 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • the resort thing was for one night and it was only $72 but we don't even have that anymore. we just have to many expenses being the first of the month plus we bought a new van so the payment is due right around the corner. i don't want to start dipping into our loan and get completely broke.

    Answer by melody77 at 12:33 PM on Jun. 26, 2009