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How do you do it...having #2 baby?

My son is 17 months and hubby and I decided we wanted to try for another baby. But as I think about the late night feedings and changings that occur every two hours for the first months I wonder how that is even possible when my current baby is up till four am and is very demanding. I love my son I have and want to give him a brother or sister to grow with I am just so worried I wont be able to handle two babies wanting mommy every single minute of the day and night. Hubby isn't that great of a helper....he works and cooks but that is all he seems to really do around here. Advice would be great....:)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:06 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (13)
  • Wait tell your son is 3 to get pregnant.that way he is out of the baby stage and hopefully potty trained, before the second one comes.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:20 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Hubby isn't that great of a helper....he works and cooks but that is all he seems to really do around here. Advice would be great....:)


    Seems to me you don't appreciate him very much, so you need to wait a while before having another one.If you bring another child into this marriage, it will be harder.You are lucky that he cooks and works, some women don't even have that.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • You'll never regret having another one no matter how much work it is...
    ivebcummymother

    Answer by ivebcummymother at 9:06 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • There is 2 years and 5 months between my first and second child. Yes, there were times when I wanted to pull out my hair. The baby was colicky, my 2 1/2 year old was potty training and my husband was on midnight shift and slept all day. Things got a little hairy at times but I would not change a thing. I am so glad I had him. He is super close with his sister.

    When I think back on his babyhood, I remember all the good. Memories of 3 a.m. feedings and marathon crying pale in comparison to the way he smelled after a bath or nursing him in the rocking chair. If you want to have another baby, have one. My three babies are the best thing I have ever done with my life.
    CaseyErin

    Answer by CaseyErin at 9:40 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I agree with louis. He does more than most men he works AND cooks! I am not trying to sound rude but it seems to me he helps alot. I am sure he spends time with his son as well.....I don't think you are ready to have another one just yet. Maybe wait till you get your 1st potty trained and where he sleeps all night first
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 10:05 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • My son was 22 months when my second was born (she's 2 months now). I was terrified. I expected the worst, and prepared myself for the worst (and was still regretting having my daughter for a couple of weeks after she was born), but it's turned out a lot better than I expected. My toddler adjusted to the new baby better and faster than I did, and now I wouldn't trade her (or him, of course) for the world. It is hard when I have to stay in one spot feeding the baby and my son wants something that he can't get for himself, or when I was tired from being up in the middle of the night and my son wanted to run around instead of sitting still and playing with his blocks. But you get used to it, and it does get better. If you're not sure it's what you want right now, I would definitely wait, but if it happens, then it might not be as bad as you're scared it will be.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 10:53 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I am about to have three in 31 months. My first two are 17 months apart. I LOVE it. It isn't for everyone though. You have to multitask and taking time to still be a wife and make yourself find appreciation is crucial. You should find ways to be appreciative of your spouse. Do you stay home and if so why? If it is to raise your kids you might ought to consider how your relationship with your spouse impacts them and is also a part of them being raised. I hope I don't sound mean with that. It's just that I know how easy it is to get sucked into that mentality when you have two young and closely spaced. It is exhausting. And it's likely that your husband will feel a drive to work harder outside the home because they tend to think more about the long term financial aspects of raising children. Here's how I do it: I surround myself with like minded women who will help me to stay positive :)

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 11:09 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I had my 2nd when my first was 20 months old (we got pregnant when she wasn't quite 11 months old), so for me trying when your first is 17 months old doesn't sound bad at all. You will be having your 2nd when your first is out of diapers. I'm a stay at home mom and did just fine with the 2 of them and I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant the 2nd time (totally not planned)

    They are now 33 months old and 13 months old and I'm pregnant with baby #3. I will be having this baby when my youngest is 20 months old. Having them close together is hard when they're young, but it's nice that I'll be done with all of the baby gear and maternity clothes after this baby. Also, as kids, they will enjoy doing the same things on vacations, etc.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:13 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • A good example: About a week ago, both boys were up in the night. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep. I was EXHAUSTED (please remember that I am also in the last trimester of this pregnancy! lol) My husband was exhausted too because of the type of demanding schedule he is working right now. He is a soldier but they have him on a different duty than his regular job so the hours are insane. He was tired too. He left for work and I just wanted to cry. Then, it hit me. Pre-baby I worked in the medical field. If I worked too, I would be dividing the wake ups with my husband. That would mean a lil more sleep right? But I'd still be tired for sure! Only then I would have to go into an office, away from the smiling faces of my kids and deal with people who viewed me a dispensable all day.

    Even if you both work, you can find ways to view his help in more positive lights. And that is what gets you through the hard spots.
    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 11:14 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Finally, you have to remember that you wont be bonding with these babies individually. You will bond all together as a family. I nursed my youngest with my oldest sitting right there cuddling up and playing with his brother's feet :) It isn't two babies needing mommy all the time... It's just your two babies who love you and you provide for.

    As far as your husband also, some men bond better as children get older. My husband does WAY more than he did in the first year. Partly because it isn't new but mostly because there is more for him to do. When they are very young, help sounds nice but sometimes only mommy will do :) Even close in age, the oldest does start to break way from that and makes it easier.

    I never scolded my oldest for touching or being too close to the baby. Idk if it is because of that or not but we never had problems with jealousy. Check some of the groups for info on closely spaced siblings.
    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 11:20 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

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