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How to handle DD4s fits?

When something doesn't go her way she starts stomping around yelling at her brother and folding her arms and you can see the anger on her face. When I get involved to ask her to calm down and play nice and difuse the situation she turns it on me and yells at me and says she doesn't like me anymore and that she won't play nice, etc. This goes on and on until I snap and make her go to her room until she calms down. Most times I have to physically take her there because she refuses to go, then she SCREAMS bloody murder for a good 5 minutes, I can only imagine what the neighbors think....then she's quiet in there and after a while I go get her and we talk about it, but, it doesn't seem to deter the behavior for next time. She has these "fits" several times a week. Advice?


Asked by gramsmom at 10:44 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • I feel for you. I have a 4.5 year old girl and fits never happen much like this.

    Ours is more of a whiner and I usually just tell her: "Your behaviour is unacceptable. Brother and I don't want to be around you like this so go to your room." She has never fought me on it.

    Drag her in there and say, "Well, you make mommy sad when you say that but I still love you. When you decide to stop being a baby, you may come back out."

    Then.... when she's in good moods, talk about situations like these. Make them lessons and teach her how it's ok to behave. "Is it ok to yell and scream when we don't get an ice cream?" "No mommy." "It's better to use words and say I'm sad. Because screaming only makes your friends want to go away."

    Answer by lynnard at 12:43 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • KIds rooms are often a nice, comfy place with toys around. I never have sent my kids to their room. The go to a corner/time out. The hey have to sit facing the wall. They cannot see what is going on or interact in any way. Time doesn't start until they are sitting quietly. They scream,get up or act out..time starts over. One minute for each yr of age. My boys I rarely had to start time over. My 6 yr old grand daughter/ THE drama Queen. Sometimes I have to put her back in 4 or 5 times. She is getting better, but she has pushed me to the limit on it. I refuse to give in . I will keep putting her back for as many times as it takes. She is finally learning I am serious. I'm not going to give in and let her have her way. Power struggles with a 6 yr old isn't ever gonna be in her favor, not at my house anyway. Consistancy is key. Also,..when she screams out at people in anger..she loses privileges for disrespect.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:58 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Good idea lynnard, I think I'm dropping the ball by not taking the opportunity when things are good to discuss it with her... I'll try that.

    And GEGrandma, I send her to her room because she screams so loud I can't take it, it disrupts the whole house. She never goes in and plays and has fun, she sits on her bed and screams and cries until she finally calms down. For some reason it hasn't dawned on her that she could get up and play, lol. Once she is calm I give her at least 5 minutes alone, sometimes more to fully settle down. When I put her in I tell her that as soon as she is calm and is ready to play nice and speak nicely to me and her brother she may come out, and that is what usually happens.

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:06 PM on Jun. 26, 2009