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How would you break such news to your SO?

I spoke to my mother-in-law today, and she informed me that my husband's paternal grandfather's cancer has become terminal. It now falls to me to tell him this tragic news, and I just do not know how to do it. I have never had to tell someone such a thing before. He is already stressed and tired from work this week (he is a soldier), and I cannot imagine how to break this gently, or when the appropriate timing would be. Should I tell him when I pick him up? Should I wait until we are home? Should I wait until after he has showered, and eaten, and the baby is asleep? I could really use some friendly advice.

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EternalChild86

Asked by EternalChild86 at 10:55 AM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • ID WAIT UNTIL YOU WERE HOME, HES EATEN SHOWERED AND THE BABY IS IN BED IT WILL BE EASIER TO TALK AND LISTEN AND GIVE HIM HUGS AND EVERYTHING WHEN THERE ARE NO OTHER DISTRACTIONS
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I agree. Let him transition from work and relax so he can process the information better and in the privacy of his own home.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:00 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • There is really no easy way to inform him of something like that. You just have to tell him. Actually it should be his mother or father telling him the news but obviously, they are leaving that to you. He will be hurt anyway or anytime you tell him, so you just need to tell him and then be there for him or if he wants to be left alone, leave him alone.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:30 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Look, you just need to sit him down and tell him. You may want to tell him when the baby is there. It might help him to hold his baby while he is being told that his grandfather is dying. I know when my grandfather died it helped to comfort me to be able to hold my babies. Remembering how much my grandfather loved the little ones. You also need to remind him that he has lived a full and wonderful life. One that should not be overwhelmed by his pending death. I understand how hard it is to watch someone you love and admire so much wither away in front of your eyes, knowing there is nothing you can do to comfort them. I can tell you how hard it is to comfort a person who is watching their loved ones die. When my husband's grandmother was dying he was not able to be there and it made him angry at times. All I could do was sit and listen, when he would talk, and remind him how much he is loved. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 11:30 AM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Let him get comfortable after work, put kids to bed, turn the tv off and sit beside him and tell him his Mom called today with some bad news. Then just tell him exactly what his mother told you. Then hold him, and love him. Encourage him to talk about good memories of him. He may feel the need to go see his grandfather before he passes. For me personally I was devastated at the news that my grandpa was going to die. I knew I couldn't make a trip thenm AND go to a funeral. We were stationed in Hawaii at the time and they were here in TX. I chose to go to see him alive. If you are people of faith, pray for peace and understanding in your hearts.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:12 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I'd wait until after ur LO's in bed this way u wont have a ur child in the middle of two having a serious convo/moment. Just tell him & then ask him if he'd like for u to do anything to help him but give him his space if that is what he wants. Sorry to hear this.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 12:59 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

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