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am i selfish?

i feel upset with my fiance all the time because he works all day and when he comes home hes too tired to talk to me basically (hes a mechanic) and i am 4 months pregnant and i dont feel like im being taken care of much, i know working is taking care of me but i think its because i have a 2 year old son from a previous relationship and his dad left me when i was 5 months pregnant and before that treated me like shit, i always had this idea of how i wanted to have someone act when i was pregnant and hes a great and sweet guy but i feel a little like im doing this on my own again, plus i feel too guilty to ask if he can rub my back or feet or anything because he just bitches that his hands hurt cuz he works with them all day etc. so i dont ask most of the time, what should i do? i just want to feel a little more special sometimes, dont women that are carrying someones child deserve to feel special from time to time?

Answer Question

Asked by bradynsmom222 at 12:45 PM on Jun. 26, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (4)
  • Have u explained all of this to him? Maybe if u just have a talk he might get how ur feeling. It works for me & my SO sometimes.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 12:48 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • Its still early, it may not have hit him yet. When he sees the huge belly and starts feeling kicks he'll probably share more of his shear amazement at who your carrying. Your not selfish for wanting back just have to remember that he is tired too.


    Answer by Farrahann at 12:49 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • i know exactly how you feel my husband is a tire service guy and works 6 to 7 days a week and barely has time for me and i am almost 8 months pregnant.Your best thing todo is just talk to him and let him know how you feel. I talked to mine and he understood and started paying more attention to me. If he really loves you than he will talk to you more and give you more attention. BUt you should remember that he is trying to provide for his family and probably has a really stressfull job. So cut him a little slack but not to much. And always talk to your partner cuase if you dont its not a relationship worth haveing. Oh and you are not slefish just a normal human female.

    Answer by newmom183 at 12:52 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

  • I also know exactly what you are talking about. My husband works lots of overtime and it always tired and stressed when he gets home. I'm 7 months pregnant and it has not gotten any better as far as him paying more attention to me. I've talked to him about it, and he just says sorry and that he is so stressed. I don't think it will get much better with him until I'm actually in the delivery room. I think alot of times guys don't know what they are supposed to do or how they are supposed to act. It is hard when I'm the only one rubbing my stomach or talking to it. My husband even still lets me mow part of the yard. By "lets me" I mean doesn't say "No honey, you are pregnant, you shouldn't be doing that". I've just learned to deal with it and tell myself he will feel differently once he sees her born and gets to hold her. Some guys just have no clue. Sorry I don't have helpful words of wisdom for you.

    Answer by moviemom22 at 1:08 PM on Jun. 26, 2009

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